Judge — November 26, 1892 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THERE ARE to be bull-fights dur- ing the Columbian exhibition—in Spain. A LADY was asked how best to manage a husband, and her very sensible reply was, “ Whose husband ?”" RREEUBLICANS give thanks, don’t you know, because it might have been worse. Though, to be sure, we don’t see how. HE CONSCIENCE of Wan John- amaker will take itself’ back to Philadelphia and give itself a few all- searching pills. ALBERT EDWARD did better for the Tennyson funeral than he would have done for his country in time of war—he sent a substitute. . WA Wl! ii ve TD TOO EXPENSIVE. Mrs. von Blumer —"' Mr. Witherby, where is the principal scene laid in the play that you are writing for our amateur company ?” WitHeRsy—"'In a ball-room. The leading lady, magnificently attired, enters the drawing-room at just the right moment to disconcert the villain.” Mxs. von BLumEr—‘‘Splendid! Did you know that your wife has consented to take the part?” Wirnervy—"' Great Cesar, no! If that's the case I shall have to change it to a bathing-scene.” CAMPAIGN FIGURES? [ SEEMS that it costs ten thousand, dollars a month to keep the Metropolitan museum of art open on Sundays—about twenty-five hundred dollars a day. Is that possible? Or are the Sunday-closing saints doing some mean lying? We are aware that figures are supposed to be strictly truthful, but there are times when they need investigating. THE FOUNTAIN AND THE STREAM. THERE IS ONE THING as to which every Republican may congratulate himself{—nobody has said that any Republican candidate was better than his party. To say that would be such obvious injustice / that it would hurt more than it “Say, Phil, where ree vould Rep) thefeandalate (geet Puin"'Upto my olive, Taran the iS absurdity, to whichever candidate nine hundred and ninety-ninth floor.” or party it may be applied. The in- dividual is not better than the mill- ions at his back. It is an insult to all intelligence to say such a thing. It is a mugwump term that nobody but a mugwump would think of using. FAITH IS WIND. THEY ARE STILL turning on the light at spirit seances and discovering that the medium officiates as the materialized dead person. But they have been doing this for thirty years at least, and the main result is more spiritists and more bogus mediums. Faith comes of a determination to believe the thing you want to believe, and in the ranks of both the orthodox and the heretics there are few who propose to be convinced against the ardent desire that runs the other way. The humbug merely helps the principle he satirizes. He is the exception that proves the rule. If there is no principle and no common sense in the question, that is nothing to faith, which is stronger the less it has to do with fact and little things like that. OUR CHRISTMAS ANNUAL, ‘JHE CHRISTMAS NUMBER OF THE JUDGE, out next week, will be the handsomest number of that annual ever issued, and every subscriber to the Juoce will get it. The illus: 0 f MSs trations are by the Jucr’s best artists, and the reading-matter is {rom the Jupcn’s best writers. Asnerry—'* Is dis here de safe deposit comp'ny ?” Last year the edition, though larger by thousands than ever before, was exhausted ten days after Cirnk—"*Yes, sir.” its publication, a fact that ought to be peculiarly suggestive to advertisers and newsdealers. Extra ASBERRY—"* Well, will you keep dese two pullets yer ontwell copies should be ordered new. Thanksgibbin’ fo" me ?* comicbooks.com /