Judge — October 22, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

én Esti d =Hien!' ta SIMPLY TRYING IT. “* See here, get out of that chair! Do you hear me?" Let me ‘lone, pard. I'm tryin’ it, an’ if I like it I'll take three fer me drawin'-room. THE TEACHER. . STE, YOUNG idea how to shoot,” he taught, And with success, to me he proudly said. "Twas true ; for, as he spoke, as quick as thought A paper pellet hit him in the head. HE MOST PROFUSE, interesting and magnifi- cent liar is C. B. Lewis, and he tells his stories as if he believed them himself. ABSENT-MINDED TO A FAULT. Cobble—" Griggson is the most absent-minded man I ever saw. You know he has moved out in the country and comes in to business every morn- ing.” Stone —""Why,no. What has he done now?” Cobble —" Well, he is so absent-minded that the first morning after he had moved he actually forgot to leave his commutation-ticket at home.” REPENTANT. Convict —* This here murdering people ai what it's cracked up to be.” Religious adviser —"* What has caused your change of heart ?” Convict— V hain’t had a darned bouquet, and I've been here a month.” “ Now keep quiet, mister, fer two minutes. I'm takin’ pictures of all de prominent men on earth fer de Weekly Snapper. See?” A HOWLING SUCCESS. “Say, Phil, de camera is all made now. S€aso! Come, let's see if we can’t ketch some jay.” Tato struck without hurtin not cry? No,” said T: to hear me.” Mrs. Wins! dren Teething gums, allays a theea. 25 cen A church jo ingly remarks members of th same journal “out of fort} state-prisons 1 are men.” placed ?—Roc/ As staple a useful is Dr. } Salvation O' anteed the bes Cobbler (to 5 awl." —Excha E “Younc Ames hair before the their scalps bel Medical Record. NOT FITTED FOR IT. ‘Sue—“* You say that you are not fond of walking.” Hr—" No. I fairly detest it.” SHk—"‘And yet you tell me that you are seriously thinking of study- ing for the stage.” fl SHE NEVER SMILES. OOR EDITII never smiles now ; What can have happened to her? Some awful disappointment— Can she have lost a wooer? Poor Edith never smiles now ; Why is her life-joy dulled Who once was always smiling ? She's had a front-tooth pulled. Packe Ic is very gene | | cal authorities. 1 HE OUGHT TO KEEP IT. Cawker (entering store)—“Let me have. a bottle of arnica, please.” Dealer —* This isn’t a drug store.” Cawker —"1 know that, but you have a si in your window which says, * Bicyclers’ supplies. THE UNEXPECTED. Judkins —" 1 saw Sommers drunk last night. ‘What's the matter? He's going to the dogs.” AMudkins —* He proposed to two women this Judkins —“Ah, yes. Got rejected, of course ?” Mudkins —* No; accepted by both.” Wrrast Ba Do Your St and Grain B | ness with “T tell you, Phil, dis is de bes’ thing yet. Ha, ha!” comicbooks.com