Judge — September 17, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

190 | ir | ‘ GERMAN POLITICAL APHORISMS. J BOLITICS you a heard a goot deal a apoudt hearts auf oak fe undt brinceepes auf hickory, bud dher campaign shtories vhas all chestnut, aindt it? Dher man dot vhas bote sides dher fence vbill shplit him- selluf pefore he vbill shplit dher barty. 1 baed some monish on dot Dher muckwump vhas a feller dot got corns on his prain pycause he wears too tighd a shkull. Dher inscription on dher temple auf American bol- itics saidt, * Uf you don‘d got all dot you see ask for i Id vhas beau-ti-ful dot all dhem barties vhas skew- nanimous in von ding, dhey all vant to safe dher goundtry. Py Jiminy! ain’d dot lucky ? Uf shildrens teeter on a poard somebody got to set on bote ends. Dot oder end auf dot poard vhas marked free drade dhis year, Dot vhas unmisfortu- nate. AT, wonpen, EXCUSABLE. LAST ight Jones came home, feeling happy and mellow, And found his wife kissing a bald-headed fellow— In fact she was hugging him, Caught unawares, HE HAD TO RECITE IT. Did Jones raise a rumpus and kick him down stairs? enue —' Liye gota poem: bos No; such things can never his home-peace destroy— Eprror—"‘All right. Leav She only was kissing her first baby-boy. Tramp—" Can't.” Got to recite it; it’s written on me shirt-busom.” A LONGER WORD. Miss Bleecker (patting her friend on the shoulder) WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE. Never say die!” ‘4] ADMIT." he said, as he was telling of the argument he had had, “that he had me Miss Emerson (of Boston)—"I do not. I always beaten on every point.” say expire.” “ He was better posted on the subject than you were,” suggested the other. “Oh, he knew more about it in a minute than I did in a It was mighty awk- “Tt usually is when a man gets into a discussion and discovers that the other fellow has all the best of it. Of course you didn’t admit it, though.” “Of course I did. What else could I do?” “Huh! You could have got on your dignity and told him with withering scorn and contempt that he didn’t know what he was talking about. That's what most men do when they're getting the worst of it.” ELLIOTT rLownR. MR. KNOWITALL. I MARVEL not, the while you . boast, THE VERY LATEST, That you are prone to pose ; Taner —" Will you have an Edison rub?” ‘The man who likes to teach the | Prutir Detrnta—" What is that?” Zip !! most, Barner —""I'll show you.” (Pulls the lever.) The less he really knows. poe EVOLUTION OF THE WATERMELON. pees: comicbooks.com