Judge — September 10, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

174 NOT A PLEASANT TRIP. oe ID you ever take Smithers “Once.” “Where did you go?” “Straight over on my neck.” CAUSE FOR GRIEF. Cora (at Madge's wed- ding) —" What on earth are you crying for, Ber- tha? This isn't your marriage?” Bertha—"1 know (bo0-hoo). That's. why I'm crying.” NOT TO BE SEEN. Eastern visitor (at San Francisco)—"And so that is the Golden Gate?” San Franciscan— “Yes. What are you look- ing for?” Eastern visitor— “Where's St. Peter?” A BETTER FIT. Adeline —" What would you do if you were in- my shoes?” Madge (after a glance at them) —“Get a pair about four sizes smaller.” THE CONVENIENCE OF FASHION. Mr. MeFad— By jove. I've burst my suspenders. Mrs, McFad ke mine. I will use your sash.” LOST. THE following isa wail from a young man who was looking for experience and found it: Like hapless Ixion I feel ; T burned with the amateur’s zeal To place a small bet On the game of roulette, And f find that I'm broke on the wheel, Manet—"' I suppose you heard of Sister Lou's marriage? She's taken a flat up-tow: Miss Jextus—"" Ves, T heard she had a flat, but I didn’t hear where she had taken him NDUCTOR—"* Will you please sit straight and make room for the passengers?” HARD ON HIM, ACCOMMODATING. REPROVED. Ciara —"'T heard that Miss Clinker told you the other night that my gowns never fitted me.” Maupr es, and I was very much provoked with her." hat did you say to her?” told her that she was altogether too bl A FATAL OMIS- SION. S¢QUR picnic was O ruined.” said Maude. “We had dead loads of blueberry-pie, but no one thought to pro- vide tooth-brushes, so we couldn't eat AN EFFORT OF MEMORY. Old friend —* What became of that handsome young man you were en- gaged to at Fashion Springs three summers ago?" Chicago matron— “Let—me—see. 1 mar- ried him, I believe.” NLY a friend can ap- preciate the peculiar virtues of that magnanim- ity which would not stab an enemy but would prick a friend. Passencer—" Certainly, sir, THE SIZE OF IT. “THE world’s fair in Chicago is going to bea regular kodak arrange- ment,” said Harlow, "Chi- cago wants to sit down and press a button and ‘have the government do the rest.” MARS. Telescope fakir — Step right up, ladies and_ gents, and view the planet Mars. Five cents, mum.” Old lady —* Oh, laws! hain’t it round and slimy?" Telescope fakir —" Will the bald-headed gent piease step away from in front of the instrument 2" [8 STUDVING human na- ture one learns to observe passively rather than to ins vestigate. It is not pleasant to stand behind any soul's closet door. Fo sty comicbooks.com