Judge — September 3, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APPEARANCES DECEIVE. Boston LANpLorD—"'I have decided that my waiters must be clean- shaven; so, Riordan, you must shave off that beard, and, Casey, that mus- tache, and you, Crimmins, must let both whiskers and mustache go. Report to me to-morrow morning, that I may observe the improvement.” RES This poem is good, but the world’s fair is out of date.” ell, I thought I would write it a year ahead.” Eptror—"' Well, we buy poems twenty-two years ahead. OUT OF DATE. Good-day." TWO VIEWS OF IT. ‘¢THESE Italians coming over here are the ruin of this country.” “Bosh! If ithadn’t been for that dago Columbus the country wouldn't have been discovered.” NOTHING SAVED. Miss Bleecker (describ- ing a fire) —"The building was completely gutted.” Miss Emerson (of Bos- ton)—"Yes, thoroughly en- trailed.” ON THE STEAMER. Lubber—" How are we going, captain?” Captain —"Oh, about eight knots an hour.” Lubber (with commercial instincts) —" Net?” REVOLUTIONARY. Mary Ann—"An’ phy did ye lave yure lasht place, Bridget?” Bridget—" Shure an’ the woman wanted ter run her ni “Confound that elevator-boy! He own house. won't come!" The improvement. AN IMPORTANT POINT. ‘4 ]S THAT really a glass eye?” said Maude to the optician. “Yes, ma’am.” “How strange! it is not transparent. through it?” How does the wearer see A CERTAIN WAY. Bunting —"There is only one sure way to prevent the breaking of a will.” Larkin— Which way is that?" Bunting —" Don’t make one.” BUT. IT DIDN'T GO. Editor —* What kind of a head do you call ‘A grave omission,’ for a funeral?” Reporter—"Very appropriate; the body was cremated.” A FORTUNATE YOUTH. $¢\VHEN Iwas a young man I wrote a novel,”said Dulle. “Was it ever published?” asked Wagg. “No. It was lost in the mails and never tured up again,” said Dulle. “You always were a lucky fellow,” said Wagg. IN THE ELEVATOR. “Tl just pull the rope myself.” And he never came back. comicbooks.com