Judge — August 20, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE CLEVER. S6THAT was a smart Chi- nese woman.” “Which?” “That Hong Kong girl who cut off the pig-tail of a fickle suitor and horsewhipped him with it.” SATURDAY. MOST sick peopte die on Satur- day, -— Or they'd ought to, 20 to speak; A MOSQUITO'S INVENTION. For Saturday, as all __FinsT Mosqurro—"' Hello, Singer! I see you're carry- will say, nek 8 SADC Glia ra ER—* No, old fellah, ‘tain't a cane; it's a straw. Is surely the end One can't get through those pesky mosquito-nets now, so I of the weak. take it through a straw. See?” HE WANTED INSPIRATION, Port— Ah, let'ssee. * Daugh- ter, daughter'—what would be a good word to rhyme with ‘daugh- And just then it came. ter’? Ah, for some inspiration! “Daughter, daughter’ "— HIS ONE SUPERSTITION. ‘eT HE only thing that Iam superstitious about,” remarked Barlo return home from the club after one o'clock and find my wife awake It's a sure sign of ill-luck.” AND NOW THEY ARE EVEN. George—" Madge, darling, I love you fondly, devotedly. With you life is everything; without you nothing.” Madge—" 1 wish I could say as much.” George—" You might if you were as big a liar as I am.” A GOOD IDEA. *Lize—"' Now, if dat standin’-lamp doan’ mek de deakin pleased wif our fixin's mah name:'s not 'Lize Coopah.” THE CAUSE OF IT. HEY buried the copper-miner with due rev- erence, and the widow suggested as a suit- able inscription on the tombstone, “His work is‘o’er.” But the stone-cutter thought that an error had been made in orthography and that it would be more appropriate to read, “His work was ore.” CONDITIONAL, British citizen—" Mr. Gladstone, are you going to introduce a home-rule bill?” Mr. Gladstone—* Yes; that is, if the Irish will let me.” WENT TO PIECES. Mermaid —"W hat's the matter? Wasn’t your show a success?” A CRANIAL DEFICIENCY. PE TET “Don't you think Mr. de Peyster 1s very absent-minded ?" business was poor and I * Yes, indeed ; almost an idiot.” had to walk home.” comicbooks.com