Judge — August 6, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1—JUNIOR AND SENIOR. Sonne kibp harder, fader, unt I lets you shmoke your pipe in der kitchen to-nights.” 2—JUNIOR AND SENIOR. Souxneim—"Sthelp me! dot vos der mosd ad- dractif vindow disblay on der shdreet !” ANOTHER CASE. [8 A HAMMOCK, in the orchard, Swung I with my darling Grace ; ‘There was danger of her falling, So I held her ‘round the waist, Just above a rosy apple Hung quite fast upon the tree. ** See that apple, dearest Charlie? Get it then,” said Grace to me, So I swung the hammock higher, Reached—ah, it's another case! For just then I lost-ny balance And like Adam fell from Grace. HIS LAST ENGAGEMENT. Young woman (to naval officer) “What was the last engagement that you were in, lieutenant?” Lieutenant (frankly with a Chicago girl.” “Oh, and must catch it,” He—"'Good-night, my darling ; I hear the bus coming JUDGE EXPERIENCED. RATHER over-dressed but imperious- looking young lady entered the office of the stage-manager of the Gotham theatre the other afternoon and asked for a position with the regular company. “Have you had any experience?” the manager asked. “Oh, yes,” answered the lady, smiling sweetly; “several years ago, feeling the fires of true inspiration burning within me, I hired my own company and as a star I played through many well-known small towns in the west such parts as Juliet, Desdemona, Camille and "°—— “Well "—— “But I came to the conclusion that real comedy was my forte, and I electrified my audiences (as the Backway Sguawk said) as Lady Teazle, Grace Harkaway, Rosalind ™. “But"— “But as I saw big money was being made in farce-comedy I had to turn the shoulder on high art, and I appeared as Polly Kickhigh in ‘A Hole in the Air’ and Sally Laughloud in ‘Four Aces and a Flush’ and "—— “Let me say"— “TI would have continued in those réles, but the critics damned the plays and QUITE A DIFFERENCE. H—'* We seem quite destange this even- ing. Do you notice the comment we're creating ?” Suz—" Yes, but I think it's the ticket on your coat-tail that does it." I got a pretty fair opening in a traveling variety troupe, where I was billed as an artiste of European reputation ; but the lie struck dismay to my aspiring soul and "—— “ What was the last position you've had?” L appeared for eighteen consecutive nights as chanteuse eccentrique in the music halls of the great northwest, and were it not that I've been yearning for a metropolitan appearance "—— But the stage-manager simulated a fit and the experienced actress bowed’a little haughtily and promised to call when he would be in a more receptive mood. ENTITLED TO NINE OF THEM. Ricketts —* They say that Mrs. Bilbow has four husbands living. isn’t arrested for bigamy.” Skidds Ricketts —" How is that?” Skidds —" They are all tailors.” It's a wonder she Yes, she has four husbands, but she isn’t liable under the law yet.” THE WORST LUCK ON EARTH. (One minute later, in the rain}—"* Well, V1 be—!" comicbooks.com