Judge, 1892-06-04 · page 7 of 16
Judge — June 4, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical jokes typical of Judge magazine's humor style, rather than unified political cartoons. Key content includes: **"The Modern Method"**: Jokes about treating alcoholism by institutionalizing the patient in a lunatic asylum instead—satirizing the era's ineffective rehabilitation approaches. **"A Serious Offense"**: Mocks church decorum by having a wife complain her husband's squeaky shoes disturb sleeping congregants during service. **"Very Odd"**: Criticizes Poughkeepsie's normal school for expelling young couples for "love-making," sarcastically suggesting romance should be curriculum in co-educational institutions. **"Unaccountable"**: Treats a railroad's on-time performance as miraculous, satirizing chronic American rail delays. **Various other jokes** mock Scottish frugality, stuttering, clams requiring careful eating to avoid seeds, and similar everyday absurdities. The humor reflects turn-of-century American life: institutional failures, social propriety anxieties, transportation complaints, and ethnic stereotyping. No specific political figures are identifiable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS INDELIBLE STAIN. Major (at inspection) — “What do you mean, sir, bj réporting in that condi This is no wild-west show. Caper—"* My blanket got wet in the shower last night, sir, and I pulled‘it over my head to keep the mosquitoes away.” BETTER STILL. ‘4]'VE GOT a new baby brother,” said ‘Tommy. “That's all right,” an- swered Freddy; “but I'm going to have a new grown- up brother as soon as sister marries him." IN SMALL DOSES. Snodgrass —" How that man stutters while talking to his frien Snively —" He's merely giving information on the in- stallment plan,” SUPERFLUOUS. Whad yer got in yer bundle, George?” Underclothes." JUDGE THE MODERN. METHOD. + *BAGLEY, I understood, went to one of those institutions where they cure intemperance.” “Yes, and he came out cured.” “What is he doing now?” h, his relatives put him in the lunatic asylum.” A RARE DIET. WHAT nation in frugality With Scotland can compare? We know it for reality Some Scotchmen live on Ayr. cn A SERIOUS OFFENSE. Wife—"My dear, you ought not to wear such squeaky shoes in church. Theard two or three members of the congregation speak of it this morning.” Husband —" What difference does it make to them, anyway?” Wife—“They complained that you woke them up.” He—"*Carious play. Sur. (fervently) —" Hx (rather startled) Sue—"* Because he may live so much longer, you know —and write more plays.” VERY ODD. aT HE EXPULSION of a young man and a maid from the normal school at Poughkeepsie for “*love-mak- ing" is a gross outrage. Why! that ought to be a part of the curriculum; oth- erwise co-education is a de- lusion and a sham, A MIRACLE. HEERE rest the bones of one, alack! Who all his life was dumb Until he tried to drive a tack And hit instead his thumb. JUST SO. Englishman—"1 under- stand, y' know, clams are very plentiful in America.” American—"Yes.” ILLUSTRATED TESTIMONIAL, ERSON SEED Co. Gentlemen — 1 planted your *quick-growth’ seeds this spring and found they came up even quicker than | expected. Yours truly, C. M. Scraten,” UNACCOUNTABLE. + DID you hear of the ac- cident on the P. S. and X. T. Z, railway this morning ?” “No, What was it “The 8.10 express got in on time.” “How are you this morning?” “ Miserable, Impy, dear.”” “ What's the matter “Oh, I feel so good.’ Englishman —" And 1 have been told that in eating them one has to be extremely careful to avoid swallowing Why yo’ buy dem? Noboddy kin see um.” the seeds.” A BIG SNAP. “Why, hello, Beason! What yer doin’ up dere? We all thought you were dead. Where you been?” BeNson—"' Oh, I've got a big snap. I stay up yer all der time, Got two trained sparrows dat feeds me reg’lar, Don't hafter walk a bit any more,” comicbooks.com