Judge — May 7, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE TOOK IT ALL BACK. CoNGRESsMAN FROM KENTUCKY —"* Mr, Speaker, the gentleman from my state who SERVICEABLE, has just sat down is so infernal mean at home that they seou't even art thar dogs on him, Hunory Harkins—"' Hello, Weary! What yer doin’ nowa- and” —(notices the advances that are being, made)—"" but, Mr. Speaker, it gives me great a pleasure to say that the Washington air has changed him entirely, and there ain't a ys?” . , Weany WALKER —" Furnishin’ materials fer jokes." whiter man on this floor.” da THE PEDAGOGUE’S REMARKS. A LEADVILLE school-teacher opens the morning session with an address to his scholars. This is what he says— Well, pupils, | won't be hard on you this bright morning by compelling you to desist from whispering. But heaven help the first boy I catch chewing tobacco! Bill Bloodgood may remain in his seat during recess to atone for the swearing and fighting he did yesterday on his way home from school. Nellie Hardshell I must punish for stealing little Georgie Mills's dinner and calling Fan Felly a liar, Miss Abigail Spinaway has kindly asked my consent to allow her to write to a gentleman friend in Boston while the class in grammar is reciting. Be careful, Abbie, in writing your letter to say nothing to give yourself away to that young man in Boston. 1 must insist that Jim Lake shall stop coming in here saturated with gin. or he will be fed some lead pills. The school will proceed to business while I whale that little runt of a Will Crumpet, who knocked me down in the dark last night and tried to swipe my elegant Roman hour-glass, by which I have told the time for the past twenty-five years.” ONE FOR HIM. Mr. Myron Loncpneatn se POW is it that you _wytis cigar draws mighty Ahiter | write only one- hard. Now for a good strong soe act plays?” pull—um— So that no critic can say, as they do of a three-act play, could have been left out altogether.’ ” © sccond act was unnecessary and the third act AN OBJECTIONABLE PLACE. Employment-agent (wearily) —" Well, what's the matter with that last. place?” Domestic —"\M not stay there. Th’ missus wants me to sift th’ ashes,” Employment -agent—" So do they all, You can’t find a mistress who won't want you to sift the ashes. a Domestic— 8; but this one watches to see that I do i “The boss iscoming down to breakfast.” x 2 d | w o “He's got a head- “He's looking over ** He's trying to “Now he's broken his boot- i “ Wee ceep 7 ° his correspondence.” read his newspaper.” lace— — ani lost his temper. Swee-e-t! 4 THE DEMON CANARY, comicbooks.com