Judge — April 30, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

296 : WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. HOUGI full of flats this town may be, ‘These days of spring remind one That, if disposed to move, you'll see How hard it is to find one. THAT ALTERED THE CASE. Skidids —* So you are married ?” Hipple—" Yes.” Skidds—"And yet it is less than six months since you told me you had deter- mined to remain single.” Hipple—"\ know; but, you see, Mamie had decided to get married.” ‘ HER ONLY CHANCE. Mrs. Ransom —" \ was surprised to hear Mrs. Parvenu say that she called SS on the Ponsonbys yesterday. ~ Mrs. Cobwig- i ger—"As. their house is to let_no doubt she did so on a permit from the landlord.” | SLANGY. | Fipo— dog-catcher. Swires—* Well, I'll be dog-gone if he catches me!” You'd better sneak, Swipes. Here comes the OLD CHOCOLATE’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT. 5 nobody so po’ dat dey can’t go toe de circus. ied wid yo" lot oddah people ought toe be. Oddah people may not know dat yo’ coat-linin’ 's ragged, but yo" doan’ fawgit hit. Yo’ kin tell de dif'ence ‘tween de impawtence ob people by de diftence in deir dogs. Some folk er laik de calf dat kicks ovah de milk- bucket in play an’ den bawls fo’ food. Dar er some very sma‘t people dat ‘scape de tricks ob deir nabers, but git caught wid deir own, Dar er 's wat yo um widout usin’ a tape-meashah on deir eahs. Dar er white cherries an’ red, but de blin’man dat wants one kin’ mo’ en anoddah am too notional. Doan’ make up yo' min’ fom de outside. De peacock er pow’ful han'- some, but ’e ain't good toe eat. J. A. WALDRON IT HAD A LOUD ODOR. +6 THIS cigar isn’t as good a on I usually smoke, Capta Baggs apologeticall “T noticed that, captain,” replied Freweoi Cums WYGa have reduced yourelt load on this toime.' umso. “You have reduced yourse Suey to the ranks, all nixt week.” Many —"‘ Shure, de ticket fer de clothes. Didn't yez ; a tell me to put de clothes in soak, an’ shure Oi hov thot.” dame! and ees she not my pupil? “ Begorra, Pat ! Oi think they've been puttin’ an extra Be th’ weight av it Qi think it “Il be enough to lasht Piece or three for a quart AN ORIGINAL GHOST. MIND me of stories uncanny, Of shadows and spirits galore ; A flitting from dark nook and cranny Or gliding through double-locked door. But the night that I bent o'er a dear girl ‘To press a chaste kiss on her brow, Transfixed by a vision of queer curl, 1 faltered, my love to avow. T left her with vague apprehension, ‘And thereby an odd tale doth hang— A marvel of woman's invention— The tail of a skeleton bang. PRARL RYTINGE. HIS HAPPY THOUGHT. Materfamilias—* Monsieur, | employed you to teach my daughter music, not to make love to her.” Monsieur de Baton—' Madame labor under ze great misapprehension.” Materfamilias—" But 1 heard you call her the apple of your eye. Monsieur de Baton—"Mon Dieu, ma- KEEPING TIME. $6] GUESS that must be a watch-dog,” remarked Tommy, “ for his tail begins to tick whenever you speak to him.” TOO TALKATIVE, Tourist (delightedly) — “Your reasonable rates are a pleasant surprise.” European host (to clerk) —“ Charge the gen- tleman twenty frances for a pleasant surprise.” BETWEEN THE FIKST AND SECOND FLOORS, O'REILLY (to himself) ve bin carryin’ mortar fur the lasht siven years, but this is th’ greatest shnap Oi iver had in all me ixparience.” ALL FAIR. | VISETED the actors’ fair. Though all was fair as fair could be Some things by far were fairest there— The actresses especially. AFTER A BARGAIN. Lady—" How do you sell these handkerchiefs?" Clerk (briskly) — “In THE ight cents a ‘m.” Lady —" Vil take three, Aman 1 then he i Leader. When When When When Dolly— housekeep papa to ki comicbooks.com