Judge — April 23, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

276 THE GERMAN PROFESSOR ON HYPNOTISM. . ‘HY BNODISM,” the German professor said thought- fully, “vos a mendal disorder dot vos rag- ing brincipally in der noosebapers. It vos a hypertrophy auf der imachination, undt der writers on mendal phleenomens vos first attacked. You mighd call ut a sort auf writer's cramp auf der prain, Der ingrediences peen made aufa fool undt a rascal. Mix thoroughly undt set avay in a cool blace. Bud one well-authendicated case has peen reported, undt dot vos told py a nodorious liar auf France. As a defence for der lawyers to sed up in murder drials it vould peen a pudding, as Schiller saidt; but brincipal use so far alreaty has peen confined to sheap novels undt skyentific makazines. Fife tousand years ago a Greek philosopher hybnodized a rooster-shicken mit a straight chalk-mark on der floor, undt now, in 1892, der skyentific beeples discofer dot you can hybnodize beeples auf dey aindt got as much prains as dot rooster. Nature got hard feelings towards a vacuum, undt’auf you aindt got no intelligences auf your own you can absorp dot from, somepody else. It vos a choyful surbrise to some ats to get a mind. inside auf nodism auf dey didn’t had some alreaty py natural. It’s. bedder, young mens, dot you cultivate some prains auf your own, aber you depend on hyb- nodism aber hypodermic inchections auf mendality. In der meantimes I can byb- nodize dis class more expeditiously undt skimultaneously mit a glub. It’s bedder you enchoy dis pecooliar_phleenomens vhile she is goin’, pycause she vill soon go down der stream auf time pehind der plue glass, der roller-skate, Koch's lymph, Keeley’s gold cure, undt pig - headed canes. You can now go der door outside undt blay ball mit your feet.” whin yez ILLUSTRATED TESTIMONIALS. “Sincer’s Lozexce Co, Gentlemen—T tried a box of your Singer's lozenges and found them wonderful for improving the voice. Yours tru “SiGNor CLAMCELLA. Foreman O'Donovan —' A ROPE IN THE CASE. lo! there goes the sheriff after Mountain Mike. Stealin’ horses agin, mebbe.”* No; he's give up that biznes.” Arizona Bit NEBRASKA Pete. Arizona BILL—" How's that?” Nenraska Pere —"* Too much suspense.” A LAST REQUEST. $+ BOYS.” said the Sick man, “stop at Charley's on the way to the ceme- tery and have a drink.” “On the way out, Dick?” “Yes; Twon't be with you coming back.’ HER ACCOMPLISHMENT. Boston young man —1s your cousin from the west familiar with French and German?” Boston miss —" No; English with variation Will_yez moind, Muldoon, carry th’ powdher not t’ git yure nose near th’ kag?” TOO GREAT TO BE HAPPY. BARON TENNYSON never speaks to stran- gers, and doesn’t reply when strangers speak tohim, He ought to be consistent. If he had adopted that rule with regard to his books he would be poor enough to be sociable and happy. CAUSE AND EFFECT. HE OWED Buckskin Pete three dollars And afterward denied it. ‘That's why the coroner's jury Was called in to decide it. HIS TITLE CLEAR. Ske—"You don’t think poor Mr. Simpson Wavpack (persuasively) —"* But, my dear friend, I am an artist. I played with Booth was lost—you don’t believe he was an atheist, for over three years, do you? THEATRE TREASURER —"' What did you play, He—"Oh. no. You ought to have heard fF heaven's sake? WALKER WAYBACK I played the bass drum in the salvation army, him swear. comicbooks.com