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Judge, 1892-04-16 · page 10 of 20

Judge — April 16, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at

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Judge — April 16, 1892 — page 10: Judge, 1892-04-16

What you’re looking at

This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Too Smart"** mocks pretentious young doctors using unnecessarily complex medical terminology ("rigor," "febrile symptoms") to impress patients, only to be dismissed by a skeptical older patient who prefers experienced physicians. **"Where the Blame Lies"** suggests that poet Charley's lack of success stems not from his writing ability but from editors' poor judgment—a jab at literary gatekeepers. **"Latest Quotations"** presents a newsboy's deadpan response: the day's important news is merely Bible verses and stock-market prices, satirizing America's simultaneous concern with morality and profit. **"Economical" and "Adhering to the Truth"** depict working-class characters negotiating survival—a glass-blower seeking employment through questionable means, and a servant negotiating meal costs—reflecting late-19th-century labor anxieties. The romantic poem at top explores nostalgic memory and class difference through the lens of a man remembering a barefoot girl from childhood, now observing her from behind a window—poignant social commentary wrapped in sentimentality.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wet. es ‘The lady tripping down the street Knows that as well as 1, and yet She is not conscious of her feet. played, IIE RAIN has passed; the walk is Hand clasped in hand we plashed and Our feet unshod, our ankles bare, T'd ask her once again to wade In that old fashion if I dare. I wonder if she ever thinks Of that great toe of mine—the one ‘That wore a turban, through the chinks Of which the sand was wont to run, She does not know that I am here Lehind this window, tired of men, And thinking of her as the dear, Sweet girl I knew when we were ten. When we were ten! Ah, dainty feet— She never stubbed her toes, but mine Far whiter than the sand they pressed; Were never sound from snow to snow, Yea, snowier than the foam that beat One day a nail was out of line; Upon that lotus-land of rest. ‘The next a stone-bruise ‘gan to grow. When we were ten! Well, let it pass. Her feet are dainty yet, I see, But not as when, a joyous lass, ‘She waded on the beach with me. TOO SMART. 66NJO." SAID the young doctor, anxious to impress his pa- tient; “this is not chills and fever. It is a rigor, followed by febrile symptoms, and requires- very deli- ate treatment.” “Then I'll have to get another doctor. You are tbo young,” said the patient. THE COMING OF WEKVEY SMITH TOMER, ILLUSTRATED TESTIMO- NIALS. “Tokay Rove Co, . Gentlemen— of your new- admi- style hemp: rope. rably. Yours truly, Se * “* Leer HANGING,” HE CONFUSES US. EASTER. THE EXPERT has become so : [1S NICE, when winter's wars are haccesaarya pate ot ennai waged, oe zation that nothing is certain but To look ahead to'spring-time, death, and that is in doubt. until qT Meanwhile the pre 1 engaged alistthe foneral.” . trade Will dream of wedding-ring time. z Co., C . beg Playi A FAVORABLE ‘OPPOR- THAT SETTLED IT. hen TUNITY Amy —" George; dear, whit . } card Mrs, Brown —" Mrs. Hilaire do you, think of my new reformed has a new outfit from head to foot gown?” en this Easter.” Mr. Dolley (surveying it critic. * io Brown—" Were you at her ally) "There's. something in it I THI house to-day? AN UNNEC like." uss Mrs. Brown—“ Noy 1 went INERRIATED CHAR (standing outside sporting-goods store) — **AIl kindsh of Amy —* What?” to church.” cork (Aic) floatsh’! Well, what durn fool didn’t know that?” Mr, Dolley —"You.” a WHERE THE BLAME LIES. ‘*CHARLEY writes pretty good poetry, but he doesn’t seem to get along very — well. =e ork “1 know it. What | aa seems to be the mate itech ter?" sree | 1 jee j “Charley says it's — | Ny = all the fault of the r - editors.” = 4 = Y F LATEST QUO- c TATIONS. Newsboy —" Mere’s 8 your Mail 'n’ ‘Spress! A All the latest quota- L tions!" E Gertleman— “What are the quota- B tions, bub?” ¥ Newsboy —** Bible af and_stock-market.”” smo | pit ECONOMICAL. . SEMY lunches cost M me only thir- im ADHERING TO THE TRUTH. ty-five cents,” said P. Destrian (the tramp) —'* Say, mister, I'm a hard-workin’ Wilkins. “Ten cents man when I kin git work at me trade, an’ L hates t beg; but if I for a sandwich and Qs j had a small sum I know where there is a employment-bureau as f = . Anoth offers work fer glass-blowers by payin’ ten cents”: a quarter for the 2—ADHERING TO THE TRUTH. | Stock, (Ue secures the money.) waiter.” Plying his trade. ness? comicbooks.com