Judge, 1892-04-09 · page 4 of 16
Judge — April 9, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"His Way"** depicts a blind beggar finding a button, then using a weighing scale as a pun—he "silently stole a weigh" (play on "away"), combining sentiment with wordplay. **"Barn-Storming"** shows a brigand commander frustrated that his subordinate loaded himself into a cannon instead of the ammunition—dark humor about incompetence. **"Popular Fallacies"** is a list mocking contemporary pretensions: that fools can write comedy, that Wagner is complex, that telephone technology was revolutionary, that gum-chewing beats cigar-smoking, etc. These satirize both artistic and social affectations. Minor sketches follow: "Keeping a Secret" jokes about gossip, "The Trying Season" mocks poets' suffering, and "His Art" plays on an opera artist's specialty being crowd scenes rather than drawing technique. The page is primarily humor and light social satire rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
238 HIS WAY. N HIS tin cup the blind man a button had found, ‘And he sighed as he felt its smooth face, While a tear dimmed his eye as he murmured, ‘Oh, fie On th’ man wot has acted so base !" ‘Then a bright idea struck him and he glanced swiftly ‘round, Climbed on to the scales, and for pay Dropped the but. in the slot, like the Arab of old, ‘As he “silently stole” a weigh ! 2. JACK ArrisTon, ‘AIN OF THE BRIGANDS—‘* Why don’t the blamed fool fire? It's “He's went an’ loaded himself instead of his POPULAR FALLACIES. THAT every fool can write a farce-comedy. That the best actresses get the most bouquets. That lightning will ever strike a corner liquor-saloon, That the waste-basket is the enemy of budding literary genius. That ordinary talent is able to practice the art of bunco-steering. That the dude is higher up in the scale than any other fancy fool. That the music of Wagner is more complex than that of Swinburne. . That pork and beans is a more aesthetic combination than a dude and a monocle. ‘That a dash of poetry in a man’s nature prompts him to leave his hair uncut. That there is more enjoyment reading Robert Browning than the esi i , Zendavesta, a. \ i That the telephone has conferred more benefits upon mankind than the liver-pad. That corns lose any of their vindictiveness when covered by patent- leather shoes. That a canary bubbling over with song is less exasperating than a steam-whistle. That there are many small investments more remunerative than ' practical polities. ‘That the practice of constantly chewing gum is preferable to that of smoking cheap cigars. PING A SECRET. Mx. Straitur—“* Ethel, I would like to have your sister. Won't you give Sree" I caught her kissing Dick Short the other night, and That an encyclopwdia, morocco-bound, is as weighty as a plain she told me not to give her away, so I won't either. pocket-book well-filled. That the common belief that a rich man cannot enter the kingdom of heaven bothers the rich man any. NATHAN 8. LEVY, THE TRYING SEASON. THE poet beats his noddle flat And burns the midnightoil ; Spring, which believes in tit-for-tat, Repays him with a boil. HIS ART. Hostess —"Ab, Miss Budd, let me introduce Signor Bar- bini, the great artist.” Miss Budd (enthusiastic- ally) —“I am 0 glad to meet you, What is your specialty in drawing ?" NDING: Signor Barbini (of the Hiram Hunks — ‘Gosh! what next? Say, constable, Orricer Mortarty—“ Now, ye shpalpeen. T'ink yer OPCra) — “Crowds, signorina; what time dew you swing them clubs anyhow 7" funny, hey? Take dat!" crowds.” comicbooks.com