Judge — April 9, 1892 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year. or s2 numoers - $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for 13 weeks = == Including the Cwxiststas Jupee. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for. ‘gn countries in the fostad anion, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE Burupinc), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. GW We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satiric cal paper published. The Jonce us for sale at Brentano's. 11 Avenue del Opera, Pa ncy Ving William street, Strand, W. C 2, Germany, and by Ch. B. Alioth, Ge by the American ‘Saarback's serland. $97" NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—AII the pictures in the Juoce are copyrighted. and must not be reproduced without the permission of the proprietors. Infringements ANY POOR WOMAN with a starving family can be a thief, but it takes money to be a kleptomaniac. ce R. CHAPIN isa lucky man, An office worth eight thousand a year is not to be sneezed at unless one has the influenza. eee EW MEN can spell with more force and originality than J. Simpson. Nine-tenths of his words go out without their socks on. R, PARKHURST is nominated by the Troy Press for mayor of New York. But for its manifest absurdity it would be a pretty good ide: seTEN LIFETIMES,” says a writer, “will not’ suffice to solve the enigma, woman.” Indeed that is so; and yet we must not give her up. LASS, it is said, can be cast in large blocks for building pur- poses; wherefore we look ahead to the time when nobody dare slander his neighbor. ET US NOT entirely indorse Lieutenant Totten; but let us Mrs, O'Brits — acknowledge that if, the world look so sad’ as : 4 Mrs. McCane doesn't come to an end it won't be jagq hits his fault. He has pressed the but- Mrs. O'Briex ton. Mrs. McCabe —' vee AND says in effect that he doesn’t want to be slaugh- tered, but if he is the best man for that purpose he is ready to be a martyr [¥ SAYING that he would not cross the silver bridge till he got to it Mr. Hill overlooked the suggestive fact that Mr. Harter had laid it down at his very feet. THE HILL SPEECHES down south are not surprisingly plain as to the tariff and silver, but they tell us unmistakably that the home of y is in the settin’ sun. ‘A BILL was introduced into the Kentucky legislature, re- cently, to make kissing on Sunday a crime, the star-eyed goddess took Henry Watterson across her knee and gave him the punishment he had long needed. S IT NOT strange that no foreign power has contributed to the relief of the starving people of Russia? But the time may come when, as once before, Russia will be the only foreign power to give aid and comfort to the United States. HE KAISER excommunicates Punch because it has spoken of him disrespectfully. These potentates are intolers The ly sensit *Good-marnin’, Mrs. McCabe. An’ phwat makes yez "Shure, Dennis was sint to th’ penitintiary fer six Well! Shure, don’t worry. Six months will soon pass.” ‘Shure, that's phwat worries me.” trustees of the Boston public library are about to throw out the bible be- cause of some personal attacks on them by the late Mr. Solomon. THE RETREAT OF THE COWARDS. HE “WORLD” is right. So far as the Democratic party is con- cerned, the silver question might better have been postponed. The situation cannot be changed whatever this congress can do; and to run away from the tariff issue is rank, and therefore characteristic, Democratic cowardice, WELL DONE! HE DECISION in the Noyes-Rockwell case is a compliment to the Democratic party that is of the utmost value at this time, and the more so as it is a rebuke to Hill which that gentleman fully deserves. Let us add that it is a lesson to the late Republican house of representa- tives that is not the less pointed because it comes too late. It pays to be honest. Let us not forget it. OUR ADOPTED RULER. HARLES FOSTER is happy in his alleged comparison of the Irish- man’s mouth with that of the clam, even if he does omit a reference to that long upper lip of the clam—so long that the nose and the rest of the countenance are entirely obliterated. The term flannel-mouth was once descriptive; but during the past thirty years the Irishman has cut his gums and the same have receded even to the roof of his conversational orifice. : BETTER THE VICTORY OF PEACE. A LITTLE TROUBLE with England would give us Canada, either with the consent of her i habitants or through the necessity of protecting ourselves by keeping the enemy off shore. We-trust, therefore, that we shall have no trouble with England. While the commercial interests of Canada and the United States may demand a union, Canada had better not annex us until a very large majority of her inhabitants are frantic for that action. AGE, GORGE, AND PENI- * “TENCE. HE MEN of the Standard oil company have made so many millions thatit bothers them to take care of the money. In making the millions they have stopped at no law and had no mercy on honest opposition, Suddenly they conceive a high respect for law, and incident- ally for religion, and retire with sanctimonious countenances to the depths of their several Cheshire cheeses. Law is a great reformer; but age and fatigue are better, as Mr. Gould and John A. Morris would doubtless remark if they had anything to say on the subject. THE HON. WHITELAW PHELPS, THERE ARE TWO MEN either of whom would be a very strong candidate for vice-president on the Republican ticket. Whitelaw Reid could carry New York, and nobody could do more for him in Con- necticut and New Jersey than could and would William Walter Phelps. On the other hand, Mr. Phelps has the money, the record and the popu- larity to secure those states for himself, and he, like Mr. Reid, deserves all the good that can come to him. The JUDGE calls attention to the work of these gentlemen as Republicans and as representatives abroad. THE HILL EXCLUSIVENESS., THE DEMOCRATIC PRESS is right—there is too much centraliza- tion, Here is David B. Hill, in whom is centralized the power of the Democratic party of this state; who makes legislative majorities, and who controls legislation against the people and for the McLoughlins, the Crokers, the Cockrans, the Grants and the Murphys. There is too little democracy. Here, again, is Mr. Hill, at Jackson, Miss., talking exclu- sively, as the dispatches have it, to “ladies and gentlemen,” not a black face in his audience and not a white workingman or woman within gun- shot of his hand or his voice. comicbooks.com