Judge, 1892-03-12 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 12, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of late-19th-century American humor: **"Her Lenten Sacrifice"** mocks romantic courtship rituals and male hypocrisy—a woman sacrifices waltzing and kisses for Lent; her suitor pretends he'll match her sacrifice but clearly won't. **"As Much Could Be Expected"** jokes about a Kentucky man's limited commitment—he'd go through fire for love, but only fire, not water, playing on regional stereotypes. **"Now Is the Time to Subscribe"** satirizes newspaper subscription tactics: two highwaymen discuss being robbed—one of valuables, the other tricked into subscribing to a paper. **"A Misnomer"** ridicules a dog-seller: the "bird dog" catches rats instead, inverting its intended purpose. **"The Disowned"** contains a genealogical insult—suggesting someone's family tree appears in the Book of Genesis (implying primitive ancestry). Other pieces mock theatrical aspirations, mismatched romantic preferences, and social pretensions through brief comedic dialogues. The humor relies on wordplay, exaggeration, and contemporary social observations rather than specific political events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HER LENTEN SACRIFICE. SOV HAT have you given up for Lent?” She asked him, gently chiding. (He'd given up nothing, so intent And grievous his backsliding.) But artfully he made reply, “The point’s not quite decided. Tell me your self-denial ; I May then be better guided.” She answered low ('Tis seldom met 5 Such sacrifice as this is), ve given up waltzing and, dear Vet (A pause), I've given up—kisses * How horrible !" aghast he cried. “You'd force me to consent, dear, To do the same?” She gently sighed “+ Yes—that was what I meant, dear.” MADEUNE &, BRIDGES. AS MUCH COULD BE EXPECTED. Ss YVILL.you go through fire and water for me?” asked the maiden, romantically, after her sweetheart had proposed. “I'd go through fire for you,” replied the young man, who was from Kentucky. HIS “NEW ROLE. “Ah, de Thespis—out in new togs, eh? engagement ?* De THesris —* Yer Buskin —** What line?" NOW IS THE TIME TO SUBSCRIBE. *¢LTELLO! what's the matter?" said Red-eyed Bill, the highwayman, to Bad~ nosed Jack of the same profession. “That chap I tackled this mornin’ was an edi An’ of course he hadn't any swag?” “Twas wussen.that. He talked me inter subscribin’ for his blamed paper.” De Tuesets —"' Walking gentleman !" A GOOD REASON. [ LIKE a gi with eyes of blue And golden hair, because—I do: FOOD FOR REFLECTION. NE MAN in Saratoga county has reached his hundredth year without chewing, smoking, or drinking. We have here.an un- answerable argument in favor of—It ap=* Pears that there is another man in Saratoga county, one hundred and two years .old, who has been addicted to these habits nearly all his life. Here is food for reflection. NN } / ia A THREAT. Sie : ane Railroad conductor —“Two tickets 's HE HEAD OF THE E LOST THT OUSE. \ please, for the double-headed boy.” BeuBoon = Phares Rat; Manager —I've got only one and they'll A-MISNOMER. Mr, McDearme—'‘T‘fout you said this was a bird dog.” DEALER—"‘ Well, of course I did, and of course he is, What's the matter with him? Ain't he all right?” Mr. McDEARME: he isn’t all right, sir. When I pay for.a bird dog I want a bird dog, sir. That misewable cweature don't catch birds at all, but he caught a horwid rat this: morning, and you must take him back.” z “ THE DISOWNED.” Mr, Hautlon—"You ‘think I must be re- lated to you?” Mr. Spraggins —"Nes.” Mr. Hautton —"You have a family tree, then ?” Mr. Spraggins—" Yes; you'll find it in our family bible.” Mr, Hautton— Yes; in the book of Gene- sis, is it not?” IMPRESSED BY THE APPAREL. ther, Murphy? “Sure. vez act as if yez had lost yure head?" Munpity (frantically)—"'So Oi hov, Teddy, dear. ‘The ould woman's wint an’ runned awa-ay !” ride on that.” Railroad conductor — No, they won't. If you don’t pay another fare I'll put one of them off.” Mus, Grewsom —"* Yo' doan’ k’nfide in yo' pore ole mammy no mo’, Ludwig.” Her SON (who has been very lucky at policy)—"* Doan whad ?” Mrs. Grewsom —"* Doan’ k’nfide in me. Why didn’ yo" tell me befo' dat yo's went ’n mar‘ied into d’ Astah fambly?” comicbooks.com