Judge, 1892-03-12 · page 10 of 16
Judge — March 12, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief comic sketches typical of late-19th-century American humor magazines: **"The Usual Oversight"** mocks a man deliberating marriage—he carefully considers whether his prospective bride has all desirable qualities, then realizes he never asked if *she* wanted to marry *him*. **"The Mutilated-Coin Collector"** satirizes business fraud: a con artist tries selling a machine to deliberately damage coins to a merchant already engaged in the practice, who flees in disgust at such transparent dishonesty. **"The Deceptive Hat"** features dialect humor common to the era, with working-class characters mistaking formal attire for tailoring skill. Other brief vignettes employ similar period stereotypes—Irish and German immigrant characters in particular—for mild domestic and social comedy. The humor relies on misunderstandings, class pretension, and romantic awkwardness rather than political satire. These represent typical Judge magazine filler content between advertisements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AD 1 best run the risk? Shall I make her my wife?” Thus he mused while considering the step of his life. “Will her wit entertain me, her beauty attract ?”— He tried to remember some virtue she lacked. “Can she save, be submissive and loving at once, Or simper and purr like the average dunce? Can she make her own dresses, prepare all the meals, Do away with the bang and wear sensible heels?” He thought it all over, then made up his mind 4 That she was as perfect as any he'd find. “T'll bave her,” at last he decided ; but woe! He'd forgotten to weigh up her possible no. MrrreNs WiLUeTT, THE MUTILATED-COIN COLLECTOR. | \ } | | } Se ANY PUNCHED or mutilated coin ?” brusquely inquired a collector of depreciated silver as he stepped into the office of an up-town merchant. ; lots of it,” was the reply. “I punch and mutilate my own i THE DECEPTIVE HAT. Man IN DeRTIY —* Whaffo yo" puts on dat style wid dat high hat? You's no taliah ‘n I MAN IN sto’ p=" Bet you I is, gah, Le’s measuah, MAN IN peRBY—' Fo! de land's sake! I nevah wud a ‘spicioned it.” coin right on the premises. Some people hire it done, but I have a neat scheme that beats anything you ever saw. 1 invented it myself and I'll sell you one of the machines cheap. You need it in your business. You spend valuable time canvassing the city for damaged silver when you could just as well damage it yourself with one of my machines, thus saving an important item of expense. Then you also run the risk of getting coins that have not been mutilated. I know a dishonest saloon-keeper who worked off two unpunched silver dollars on a matilated-coin collector the other day. I suppose you are like most of us— not on earth for your health, are you? Of course not. You’are here to get something ahead. Now, one of my improved mutilators would enable you to enlarge your business, It disfigures the goddess of liberty with an abrasion over her left eye and punches and in- troduces lead-filling all at one opera- tion; and if you want "— But the collector of mutilated coin had fled. MERYRY S TOMER, A SLIGHT KICK STREET MERCHANT — back. ain't you through dinner yet?" iis rer INDian "Noo" “LIKE A DOG.” Mexcnant—** Well, hurry up, will yer? 1 . An’ say—when you go out on th’ parade again YOU'LL shoot me take a lighter pair of clubs. ‘hem heavy ones say? is appetitin’ you up too much.” Where did you learn to shoot that way? . Dillen- like a dog,” you My peek 7) BACK OF THE STORE. Horenntoom —'* Baby like der tick-tick 7” HoFENBLOOM’ It vos nod goot peesness policy to gif any.” HoFENsLOOM (delighted) ‘rount fer dot, mein leedle sohn, ‘ou see der vheels go HIGHLY IMPROPER. ¢*GHALL ‘you go to the party to-morrow night?” asked Miss Emerson of Boston of her friend Miss Bleecker. “You bet your sweet life,” was the reply. “But isn’t it rather reprehensible to wager one’s saccharine vitality?” IT DISCOURAGED CONVERSATION. Bloobumper—* Well, 1 suppose the sewing-society went over a great lot of gossip this afternoon ?” Mrs. Bloobumper—No; we didn't talk a bit of gossip.” Bloobumper—" How was that?” Mrs. Bloobumper—" Every member was present.” HOW HE STANDS (?). Jones —"1 say, Brown, old fellow, you ought to reform.” ‘Brown —" What! 1?" Jones—" Own up, now. Ain't you a regular sot?” ‘Brown —" No, Jones; not that. But I guess you may put me down as something of an anti-temper- ance fanatic.” PERT. **T hope T see you well, Miss Jone “Well, you ought to with that spy- duct dow seng we you are a= rcreas Nico Where world- $s0, an Over Sample mailed, comicbooks.com