Judge, 1892-02-20 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 20, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous sketches and satirical observations typical of Judge's satirical style. **Key pieces:** - **"Aggravating Information"**: A tram conductor boasts about gambling winnings, satirizing working-class men's obsession with betting. - **"The Zenith of His Fame"**: Mocks a poet whose reputation collapses—his "winged words" are merely trash blown by wind, ridiculing pretentious literary figures. - **"A Phenomenon Explained"**: Observes that verbose talkers often lack substantive ideas—their mouths outpace their brains. - **"Laid It to the Rain-Makers"**: A Sunday school teacher in Texas references the biblical deluge; a boy blames "Mister Dyrenforth" (likely a reference to unclear contemporary figure or event). - **"Alas!" and other sketches**: Domestic humor about a woman refusing romantic advances, complaints about shrinking imported goods, and a child's frustration with unanswered prayers. The "Sentences Passed by the Judge" provides philosophical observations on human nature—vice versus virtue, generational advice, and pride.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 123 AGGRAVATING INFORMATION. LErr Passencex (as L train leaves station) —"* What's your number?" Rear GuaRD—"* Depends on where I play, boss. “s made some good stakes on Chrystie street. So long!” THE ZENITH OF HIS FAME. Sie —Is he a poet of ‘ winged words?" He—* Yes; when the wind blows on the ash-heap.” **Good-morning- Out for a walk ?* “Yes ; just fora little spin around.” A PHENOMENON EXPLAINED. YOU have oft seen a man Whose syllables ran While his ideas parched in a drouth ; He does so, you'll find, From the fact that his mind Can never keep up with his mouth, LAID IT TO THE RAIN-MAKERS. Sunday-school teacher (in Texas) — “Now, what bright little boy knows who caused the deluge?” Jimmy Sedgwick —" Mister Dyren- forth.” g Four-eleven-forty-four SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. HATEVER the aspirant may receive he generally thinks he deserves a little more. Vice is always positive, always active; while more often than is sus- pected virtue is but a negative quality. Those who make sex either a guard or a licensed outlaw will have their folly visited upon them for their pains. If one might hang every thought and action on the advice of elders, rich in experience and wise in knowledge, it might prevent the committal of much folly, the soreness of many bruises, the pain of many heart-aches, and the humiliation of many defeats. But in that case it might be as profitable and as weil to step quite aside from this little planet and simplify the matter by letting those elders do one’s living altogether. MATHRINE GROSJEAN. ALAS! WEET ETHELINDA sewed ‘one day A button on my vest; And as she was so near—and sweet— Her form I gently pressed. She frowned, she blushed; the button danced Unsewed about my vest. She said, * You. press the button, sir, And / will do the rest!” ELLA miccINson. ALL GONE. Proprietor —" Where is that new stock of imported under- wear that was piled up here yes- terday ?” Clerk —" There was a leak in the roof last night, sir, and it shrank away.” Proprietor — But it didn't rain last night.” Clerk — It did in London, sir.” WHERE THE CROSS LAY. EARL was a litle out of sors, and being tired with a. long day's play had been requested by his mother to goto bed. As he still ingered she gently insisted, and before leaving him asked him to say his prayers. “Oh, what's the use of praying?” said-Earl fretfully. “God doesn’t an- swer prayers.” “ Why, Earl!” was the surprised response. “ Why do you talk like that ?” “ Well, he doesn’t,” Earl insisted. “I've been praying and praying for him to make you a good-natured mother, and you are as cross as fury!” Svccesten ay 4 Racant New-York Ixcioesr. {Suspended from his club.” Caras 2d Sk Good-morning!" comicbooks.com