Judge — January 30, 1892 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY. W. J. Arcane, Braxwano Gittan, 1. M. Gaxcory, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IM ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 ‘One copy: for 13 weeks - = = nas Including the Curistwas Jupce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for- ign countries in the postal union, @ year. THE JuDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuILpinc), Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York. €-We cuarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satiri- cal paper published. The Juvcn it for sale at Brentano's Newspaper Agency at 15 K HIS ADDICTION to whisky will probably cost Dr. Graves his life. I is a great temperance lecture. eee O NOT expect that J. B. Foraker will cease to be conspicuous. thinks he was made to be admired. eee REMARK by the lieutenant-governor—* If Senator Edwards is present the fighting of the day will now begin. He PERKINS! P-P-EFFER! P-perk and P-peff with several Hang P-perkins and P-peffer! John J. Ingrits, cee Sorosis recently discussed the question how to manage hus- bands, omitting to reply to the question whose husbands? P SLAVIN in his diplomacy with Mr. Sullivan is appar ently anxious to pat up everything but his dukes and his dollars. T HAVING been demonstrated that Bulkeley is governor of Connecticut, perhaps we shall learn directly who wrote the Junius let- ters, NO MAN who can keep himself before the public as Senator Hill can is going to slide out of sight through any crack in the floor JUDGE LEGAL ACUMEN. Miss Crrwe (in the court of general sessions) —"* Who is that distinguistied- kept open on Sunday, was entitled to the prejudice of her opinion, even to its utmost narrowness and, as some think, its large injustice. Let us hope, however, that there will be such liberty of exhibition where she has gone that every desirable place of amusement will be open to all grades of people and society from the very beginning to the very end of the week. HONESTY AGAINST CUNNING. MB. CLEVELAND partially relieved the Democratic party of its cow- ardice, gave it a knowledge of its principles, and inspired it with the courage of such convictions as it happened to have. His specch-at the Jackson dinner, whatever may be said of the correctness of its ideas, was manly and honest rather than ingenious and puzzling; and the conclusion is irresistible that the only chance for Democratic success lies in the party’s honesty and courage. But the Hill wing of the party in congress will not have things that way. THEIR DETERMINED ACTION. R. PLATT and his committee passed some resolutions lamenting the loss of the state. It might have been better to save the state at the polls, and afterward during the vote-counting, but we dare say they were too busy to think of that. “Resolved,” says a resolution passed by the Smith family, “that in the stealing of our silver the burglars guilty of that dastardly act have forever alien- ated themselves from the company of honest men, and that hereafter the house shall be amply provided with locks, safes, alarms and a few watch-dogs.”” HOW FLOWER AND HIS MONEY TALK. ‘THAT GOVERNOR FLOWER is destined to be popular in his own party there is small doubt. He is modest and practical, and his messages are brief. His first docu- ment of that kind is so characteris- tic as to warrant the belief that it is in good part his own work. The hardy yeomanry like that kind of message and are anxious to find something in the new governor to admire. We do not believe Mr, Flower will ever be president, but the extremely wealthy man who can carry New York by fifty thousand “i majority ought to be dangerous as a compromise candidate for the na- tional nomination, of the senate chamber. HEY SAY there is a dummy in the grave supposed to be occupied by the body of P. T. looking lawyer at that table?" ATTORNEY Brasute—" Ex-Judge Appelaite, He's noted for taking the most exhaustive notes of any man in the profession, Just watch him knit his brow.” Ex-Jupce ArreLatte (seriting)—'' Castor house: Send me two apple fritters and a pint of kimmel, Have the fritters brown on both sides, with plenty of sugar.—J. A.” HOW DAVID TOOK HIS OWN SCALP. ‘THE APPORTIONMENT asked for by Governor Flower was ve- toed by Governor Hill. The case is Barnum. How far the old show- man carried the idea that the people like to be humbugged! WHEN MR. FLOWER spoke in his inaugural for the elevation of the public service Mr. Hill said amen with an emphasis that rattled all the windows. os N ATURAL HISTORY is good,” says a trustee of the Boston public library reftectively, “but we must omit that part of it which treats of the laughing hyena. He may be comic.” eee M ISBY, ex-guerrilla, says the sabre is never used in the army except for ornament. This sabres of iconoclasm; and we should think the weapon would be very good to trim nails with, anyhow. SeTHE HIGH-BROWED HOODOO" is what the Buffalo Express ‘alls Thomas C. Platt. It is real mean to pitch into Mr. Platt just time, when he is in the whale’s belly and can’t get out to defend at thi himself. FAIR PLAY FOR THE PUBLIC. THE GOOD MRS. STUART, who omitted to give fifty thousand dot- lars apiece to two public institutions of this city because they were remarkable as the only one in which David kicked at the enemy and dislocated his own leg. To have had the new apportionment at the time it was due would inevitably have given the Democrats a considerable gain in both senate and assembly and saved David an immensity of worry and law-breaking; and when he surveyed the wreck he had created he remarked to himself with great sadness, “Verily I have destroyed a large grocery to save a pound of sugar. Woe is me! I shall never do that again.” THE DELICATE AND UNIQUE VOTE. MUST HAVE a ballot in four volumes, bound in calf and exe- cuted in five colors. It must have the signature of some selected official, the same executed by hand and bearing the attestation of three notaries and the official seals of the state and county, with an indorsement by the district policeman or the town constable, as the case may be. The voter must be attended to the polls by a brass band with all its wind go- ing, and dismissed with a benediction by the local clergyman. ‘The polls must be opened with prayer and closed with the doxology; and during the exercises there must be a hush, with all the blinds down, like that which attended the ride of the gentle Godiva through the streets of Cov- entry. We cannet be too particular about these things unless we are dead. comicbooks.com