Judge — January 23, 1892 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY. W, J. Anwett. 1. M, Gercory, ano Gintast. iter. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAKADA, IN ADVANCE ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers + $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for sy weeks = == 1.35 Including the Curistuas Jupcr. - FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— Teall for eg in the pattal union, ‘THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JucE BUILDING). Cor Fifth Ave. and 16th Street. New York. EWI e guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satiri- cal paper published. ealhe Juve it for sale at, Brontana'n 17 Avenue def Opera by the American fewipaper Agency at 15 King William street, Strand, W. C., London: at Saarbach's American Eachange, Maina, CE Ait, Geneon, Settaerland. Cable address Voces Germany, and by THE MORE one looks at it the more one sees what a rmagniticent de- feat Mr. Platt won. FATHER HOLMAN is not a cheese-parer, because cheese is too ex- pensive to be thus abbreviated. THE WORK in behalf of the world’s fair is going along finely. There have recently been two new public dinners. UR WAR with Chili as carried on by the newspaper correspondents has thus far destroyed three navies and built six. oe TANDING ADVICE to royal hunt- ers —“ Be sure you don't shoot your imperial cousin. This is not war.” eee BELLE BILTON, mother of twins and countess of Clancarty, ought to have too much respect for her children to have any. WE NOTICE that Senator Hill retains a residence at Albany. The society of the old Dutch town was always inter- esting. A SISTER of Blind Tom smashes every piano she sees—not as an expert, mind you, but because she hates the in- strument. ENATOR PLUMB might have died of overwork; but more men die of idleness than of that affliction, and they die happy. THE MEN who tarred and feathered Julia Beam quite forgot during the exercises that they had something of that | kind in their own eyes. eee GINCE THE DECISIONS in the election cases we know what Roscoe Conkling meant when he spoke of “the delicate and unique vote.” eee stigate the Vanderbilt brain is too hor- If he would give some attention to his own it would Ernrt—"' No, indeed, young man she ever heard of.” THE MAN who wanted to inv ribly realistic. be better. +4CHILI,” says some one who knows the Chilians, “is spoiling for a fight.” Probably she will spoil worse after one, and perhaps that is what she most needs. BOURKE COCKRAN would like the chair occupied by Frank His- cock, but he is not too proud meanwhile to take any ttle perquisites that may ask to be clutched. NO MAN distributes wealth with more generosity than George W. Childs, and he must be an utterly mean man as well as a crank who threatens such a life as he leads. HERE ARE to be Democratic and Republican efforts to put Speaker Crisp in a hole, but the speaker isnot frightened. “Bring on your bole,” says he with extreme confidence. JUDGE A HANDICAP. “Race, Ethel?” Mamma says you're the fastest CIPROCITY—" May you live a thousand years.” “Thank you, sir; and, that being the state of your good feeling, may you get the ad- vantage of me by living a thousand and one.” cee (AS EDWIN ARNOLD had no audience in Kansas City it is a fair inference that his manager omitted the big colored posters again. Stinginess like that is fatal to any kind of show. sGeice WARNER MILLER is said to be devoting himself to the Nicaragua canal with tireless energy. We noticed this during the late cam- He seemed to be wrapped up and baptized in it. HISTORICAL ACCURACY. WE HAVE OBSERVED of every man who is suddenly put on a pedestal that there was a romance connected with his earlier history, and the newspapers promptly “get on to it""—we use a journalistic term. ‘Thus Speaker Crisp was connected by birth with the stage, Jerry Rusk drove a coach of that kind and was frequently held up, Stephen Elkins was a leading rebel and surrendered Columbia to General Sherman, and Jones longed to be governor of New York and Massachusetts before he had reached the period of spoon-food. THAT LITTLE MONSTER. HEY ARE CALLING Hill a lunatic. They say he usurps. They declare that he outrages the constitution and the lesser law. While it is a question whether law-breaking makes Hill more friends than ene- mies in the Democratic party, it is true that Democrats like a leader who stands up for the rights of his party, the rights including everything he can put his hands on. On the whole, therefore, Hill is mak- ing progress; and if by some chance he should be charged with and tried for heresy he would be pretty certain of the Democratic national nomination. paign. PAT. MB: PAT EGAN is subjected to so many insults and such danger in Chili, it is remarkable that he doesn’t or- ganize himself into a navy and blow the hew government up with his mouth. We don’t know that"Mr. Egan is unusually combative by reason of his sex and his birthplace; but he does manage to get himself into rows and newspapers with a success as great as if he were on his native island, dressed in a buckthorn and a coat with a long tail. It is natural that Mr. Blaine should stand by him, but as a great international question he is a good deal more conspicuous than interesting. BALLOTS. THE OBVIOUS INTENTION of a voter ought to be respected to some extent by boards of canvassers and the courts, but it is not. Of all the bal- lots, from the blanket to the snipe, not one is legitimate if a “quad” disfigures it. Two letters transposed in a name, or a name wrongly spelled, or the mark of a soiled finger, destroys the purity and efficiency of the ballot and probably gives the election to the man with the least votes. Ah, what a work of art the ballot must be! We shall have to have it printed in heaven and deposited by angels. And how nice it is to be protected to death! THE BOSTON CENSORSHIP. MB LONGFELLOW was cast out of the Boston public schools, and now the JUDGE is dismissed from the Boston public library. The JunGE is not thus cruelly treated because of lasciviousness, as Mr. Long- fellow was, however; it suffers because the cost of it is ten cents a week, and it is thought that culture demands something heavier for that money. We had thought that the JUDGE was constructed largely on a basis of Ideas, not perhaps of a Sullivanesque nature, though very fair; but the common-school culture of Boston, like that of the kaiser, has a right to its Views even if they Knock us Out. And now what are the common and uncommon schools of Boston going to do with Dr. Holmes, Mr. Howells, Mr. Aldrich, and James Russell Lowell—not to mention those rather amusing gentlemen Messrs. Dickens and Thackeray? comicbooks.com