Judge — January 16, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

siesta.” FALSE SMILES. HE smiles on me, I know, Yet I've in hope no part. They're not the smiles that glow Spontaneous from the heart: 'Tis hardly worth my while To try to bend her will; A girl may smile and smile And be unwillin’ still. sinpseve, OBEYING ORDERS. Spatts—* Mr. Dingbats, I-er- {love your daughter and ask your consent” Dingbatts—“Why, sir, she's only seventeen, I can’t think of her marrying yet. Wait till she’s twenty.” Spatts—" Very well, si (He sits down and begins to wait.) Bit. THE TRAMP—"‘A nice cool place to take my after-dinner Farewell, morbid cares of life ! I will sleep within.” porary structure I \? evil y xs BILL THE TRAMP (aroused by the flames) —"* Hold on, mister ! Stop the show | T ain't in it.” A POST-GRADUATE, He—"What a modest, lovely creature she must be! How fascinating!” Ske—And yet some parents don't believe in our young women’s blushes on the slightest provocation. institute of physical culture.” See how she Blue-stocking ?” “No, black,” GOOD ADVICE. Actress —" I've eloped, had my diamonds stolen, had one hundred thousand dollars left me by a relative, secured a divorce, played in several popular pieces, and yet I am not famous. 1 do to become popular? Friend — Retire from the stage.” FORGED NOTES. Anvil chorus in ‘* Lohengrin.” What can THE GAME MUST HAVE BEEN HIGH, Wefe—* John, I want ten dollars.” Husband —" Maria, I'm sorry to say that I haven't that amount to-day.” Wife —“ John Henderson! I do believe you sat up with another sick man last night.” ANOTHER VIEW OF IT. Hunker —" wish 1 had courage enough to propose to Sue and end my misery.” : Spatts—* That might not end it.” Hunker —* How's that?” Spatts— She might accept you.” EXPLAINED BY HEREDITY. She— Do you know what it is to have a soul at war with itself ?” He—" Don't I, though? My father was an Irishman and my mother an Italian, you know.” : PROFESSOR SMITH (one hour after)— While my assistant is setting fire to this tem- Id. beg leave to say that this little machine which you see will throw a volume of water by simply pressing a button like this.” ESTRANGED. Howell —“Why does Fuller avoid Hobson now? They used to be inseparable.” Powell—""They were hypno- tized on the stage last week, and the professor told Fuller that he was a gtain of corn and Hobson that he was a chicken,” HE DECLINED. Young twoman—"1 want you to draw plans for a nice cozy home. My husband’s mother will live with us, and 1" Architect — possible.” Young woman—" Why, don't you do such work?” Architect —* No, madam; no architect has yet been able to draw plans for a house that is large enough for two women.” AS TO COLOR. Madam, it is im- 66 YOU seem very much interested in Miss Browning of Boston.” TO FIT AS OCCASION REQUIRES. Mrs, WHALEN —“‘Hov yez enny short pants fer byes Mr. Stiversteis—'‘I hafe not. I hafe long: bants for mens. Buy a bair for your husban’, vash “em vonce, und dey vill fit der chile. I hafe sold bants dot hafe vent drue a whole cheneration like dot. De longer you vash em de smaller dey gits.”” comicbooks.com