Judge — January 9, 1892 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. a W. J. Ammen. Brannan Gian, 1. M. Guacony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE, vy Ss One copy, one year, or 32 numbers - $5.00 Kh (a Qoe copy, six months, oF a6 numbers - 240 ne copy. for ny weeks ees tas Tnclading the Cunisroeas Je FOREIGN SUBSCRIP S—Toall for- ‘ign countries in the postal union, @ year, THE JuDGe PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BurLpin Cor, Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. CR We guarantee advertisers a American satirical paper published. The Joon is for sale at Brentano's, 17 Avenue de PO) Newspaper Agency at 15 King William street, Strand, W. C. é fermany, and by Ch. E. Alioth, circulation at cheaper rates than any other varin: by the American don is jaarbach's fence, Switzerland. A POEM on the beautiful Springer is respectfully dectined. MBE. CRISP must be careful not to wield the mallet so as to knock his own head off. SS CRANK and the unloaded pistol are I. THE HARML! and sure to inseparable ‘THE BEST PROTECTION against burglars is a determined woman, and the best detectives are newspaper reporters. VIRTUE HATH its reward. What a beautiful compli- ment to the McKinley law was the election of Brother Crisp! cee AN EXCHANGE says that a man recently shot at is to be congratulated on his narrow escape. We suspected that at the time. THE CHILIANS have been mentioned as “the snarling whelps of the Pacific.” ‘The title fits them and the snarl should be pulled. MB: HOWELLS jis under- stood to believe that he is making money enough, and if that is the case fact is stranger than fiction. [TIS BARELY possible that Mr. Elkins was made the Cat Lerrin war secretary because he was Peculiar lap-stone fitted for the position. Hz body thought of that? cee a have!” any- sponge-cake she made. THEY ARE having more blackthorn politics in Ireland, and M. Davitt the other day got the wrong end of the argument. M, HALSTEAD sends the information from Rome, Italy, that Mr. Flower will be the Democratic candidate. Now let us have the opinion of the pope. DR: KEELEY will try the bichloride-of-gold cure in Europe. Let us suggest that he see if he can’t reduce the size of the kaiser’s head and subdue his eccentricity. HENRY WATTERSON wants it understood that the Democratic party is ““a power, not a posse,” and likewise “an immortal farce"— which last word he curiously spells with an 0. CYRUS FIELD deserves better things of this world than he gets in his old age; but history is kind, and will take care of his memory as long as there is electricity and the world goes round. [7 1S URGED in Paris and London that the marriages of American heiresses to impoverished noblemen generally turn out well. There can't be any doubt of it so far as the noblemen are concerned. JUDGE GRADUATED IN HIGH STANDING. “* Well, neighbor, busy as usual making footwear? But what a M®- WHITTIER frankly admits, though he was there at the time, that he has to rely on the word of his mother as to the period of his birth. Mr. Whittier never did have much confidence in his memory. R, ELKINS as secretary of war is not satisfactory to the Democratic press. Perhaps it would prefer a man like Floyd, who turned over a large amount of war material to the southern confederacy carly in 1861. E BEG to chide the Chicago /nter-Ocean for calling Governor Hill athief. The proof cannot be produced. When such men as Hill steal they are bright and virtuous enough to know just how to hide the stolen property. THE CALL FOR HELP. ‘THE WORLD'S FAIR affects the honor and business of the whole country, and if Chicago hasn't enough money to carry it out success- fully the other states must chip in, ‘That action involves a fine combina- tion of self-interest, patriotism and common sense. THE UNAVOIDABLE. ss ]N CASE I should be compelled to take the nomination,” says Mr, Blaine in some casual conversation. In other words, Mr. Blaine appreciates the fact that he owes a duty to the Republican party quite as great as any he may owe to himself or some other man. And does he not? WHAT NEXT? W'!TH THE FIRST oppor- tunity they had the rep- resentatives of the Democratic party at Washington repudiated poor Mills and his poor tariff. With such a beginning as that what is the party likely to do next November, when beyond question the tariff will be the leading issue, with silver as a truly bad second? THE ONLY JUST MONOPOLY. THE PEOPLE of the Kansas part of the alliance organi- zation have formed a mortgage association, ‘They believe in mortgages, but they want a monopoly of the business as far as they can get it. All other mortgaging is that of sharks, and must be stopped. Consist ency is a jewel of great value, 'yDE CUTTER—"' Yes, sir. That lap-stone has a history. Eight months ago but to be truly efficacious in its my little girl graduated from the cooking-school, This lap-stone of mine is the first effects each man must have a monopoly of it for himself alone. RECIPROCITY. HE WHOLE WORLD favors it. Every business man favors it. It belongs to every bargain and to every business and social interest. You trade with me and I'll trade with you. You treat me fairly and I'll treat you fairly. You love me and I'll love you. Otherwise we can't trade. Otherwise we can’t mingle and be affectionate. Self-preservation, or in another word protection, makes necessary the bar between us that comes with your refusal. Self-interest first and fair trade whenever and wherever it is possible and profitable. MAINE AND OHIO. ‘THE NEWSPAPERS are nominating national candidates with great haste and frequency. The JUDGE proposes to leave something to the national conventions, and in its modest way merely makes suggestions ; but it must insist with some vehemence that William McKinley of Ohio is the man for the second place on the ticket with Mr. Blaine of Maine. The claims of this man are so great, and at this time so important, that they ought to have a good deal of influence in the selection of the man for the first place. And what a ticket that would be—Dlaine of Maine and McKinley of Ohio! What a platform that would be—protection as the leading principle and reciprocity as the means to perfectly fair play in its adjustment and enforcement!