Judge, 1891 · page 49 of 69
Judge — 1891 — page 49: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several unrelated humorous sketches and jokes targeting American social pretensions and behavior: **"Natural Curiosity"** mocks working-class aspiration: Uncle Bildar, shown a wealthy relative's mansion rooms, only cares about locating the barber shop and bar—suggesting laborers' actual priorities differ from genteel refinement. **"A Thorn in the Flesh"** references St. Paul's biblical suffering but pivots to attacking gossip and malicious tongues as worse afflictions. **"Paying Under Protest"** satirizes financial evasion: a debtor deliberately requests his unpaid note be "protested" (formally disputed) to delay payment, viewing this technicality as a loophole. **The gum-chewing Newport maiden** ridicules upper-class women for adopting uncouth habits. **"What It Was Like"** presents a shallow dandy ("LaDude") attempting witty wordplay with a woman, who cleverly turns his riddles back on him—gentle mockery of masculine pretension. These sketches target American hypocrisy across class lines, from working-class materialism to upper-class affectation.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FUNNY THINGS FROM JUDGE. ilu NATURAL CURIOSITY. Uxcis BILDAR (too has been shown the billiard-room, smoking room and butler’s pantry of his niece's new hous 'y. Helen, when no one ain’t lookin’, gimme a tip where t' find th’ barber-shop an’ bar.” A THORN IN THE FLESH. PAYING UNDER PROTEST, St. Paul had his trials, as all of us have, A bank official presents a gentleman with a notice for the col- And ‘*a thorn in the flesh” he called his ; lection of a note. The gentleman, without evincing the slightest surprise, inquires : “Is it protested ?” “No, sir; not yet.” “Very well, then ; let it go to protest, and then I will sce what itis, I never pay without a protest, you must understand.” And the wise ones have trie! ever since to define just the literal meaning of this, But methinks the worst thorn that can fester and burn— E speak in:a Ggurative way— A Chinese coin fully three thousand years old has recently Is the tongue of a fret, that can harrow the flesh been dug up in California. And yet the O’Briens and Mackeys More than Paul ever felt in his day. of that State profess to look down upon John as an interloper ANNA C. STARBUCK, and a beasthly hathin! Only'a tiny bonnet, Set with exquisite grace, With heaps of daisies ‘pon it, Over a pretty face, Whose lips were swiftly moving In a low bovine hum— Only a Newport maiden Chewing a hunk of gum. WHAT IT WAS LIKE. “Aw, can you tell me, Miss Fai queried George Washington La- Dude, after a brief period of in- tense study, “why the—aw—Pon- to’s caudal appendage is like a coming event?” “No, Mr. LaDude.” ‘Well—aw—it is something toa cur, don’tcherknow—ha, ha!” “Very good, Mr. LaDude—very good. But can you tell me why your hat is like a bad habit ?” “Why — er-er—aw—well, >. Why is it?” “Because it is something to a void,” “Oh, weally, now, Miss Fair, you are just too bad for anything, don’t- cherknow.” Never judge of a man’s good in- tentions by his actions. lany a Miss WELTHAM (as they stop dancing)—"' Will man looks heavenward to avoid an you allow me to take your arm? I object to being ed.” A FOREIGN INSTITUTION. avalanche of snow from some roof, “Tissue FRexcuy (whe has had all he could do ; or gets on his knees at his bedside, fury her up onthe Nola) Panne (ould A Turkish Bath. to hunt fora missing collar-button, time” pce yccesotes ites one comicbooks.com