Judge, 1891-12-26 · page 7 of 19
Judge — December 26, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"Yesterday Was Christmas"** depicts a working-class family's modest but joyful Christmas celebration. The narrator describes receiving hand-me-down clothing while siblings get new gifts, emphasizing the family's financial constraints and the father's sacrifice (saving for an overcoat). The satire appears gentle—celebrating honest working people's modest happiness rather than mocking them. **"She Was Used to Hugging"** is a brief joke playing on a woman's casual attitude toward a bear's embrace, revealed to stem from an unpleasant Pittsburgh engagement. **"A Bitter Disappointment"** satirizes gossip culture: Mrs. Redrivers disappoints Mrs. Clum by revealing a scandal isn't secret, thus eliminating the pleasure of spreading it. **"A Hint to the Serenaders"** mocks Professor Carboat for romanticizing serious crimes (arson, murder, auto-da-fé executions) while endorsing ritual suicide (hari-kari) for the composer of "Annabel Lee"—absurdist humor criticizing overwrought sentimentality in popular songs. The page emphasizes domestic scenes and social humor rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 657 YESTERDAY WAS ~- A RADICAL TRANSFORMATION. CHRISTMAS. HESTERDAY was Christmas and every- thing was gay. Father didn't go to work—fooled around all day. Hadn't smoked in awful long, so that he could bring * Mother home two hearts on top of a real gold ring. Janey came from where she works, and every single one Had a stocking chuckin’ full,,’sides a lot of fun. Father got an overcoat. Janey, ma and im Saved up every cent they could buying it for him; And his old one mother made over new for me— Fits as nice as any coat that you ever see. Janey put a handkerchief in the pocket, 80 Just the end sticks out and shows every- where 1 go, Nelly got a bran’-new dress and another ea For her broken doll besides, and a dolly's bed : And the baby got a lot of the gayest toy: Every one can shake or twist with a dif- ferent noise. Monsieur TrencHarpe —"* By Gare! I no k n NIE 2 y Gare! T no lon- And the things that Janey got! My, they gaire stand ze tyranny and ze moftificazione of zat make a show! conad Wikaash egres-rand id asser-r-rt But of course they would because Janey's re manhood sate Stand Coup and asser-rr got a beau Mother cooked the dinner, and the way we all did eat ! Father said the turkey didn’t cost much more than meat. Jim he passed and passed his plate till, I do declare, I expected he would break down his Christmas chair ; And as far as I'm concerned, when the meal was through 1 just felt as if IT should surely pop in two. After dinner father smoked till it was so blue Seemed as if you just could see mother walking through ; ‘And when ma and Janey got all the dishes done Janey’s beau came round and stayed, making lots of fun. Kind of tough to go to work again ; but, anyway, Yesterday was Christmas and everything was gay. © wes ceonce Axcuipatn, SHE WAS USED TO HUGGING. + PUT weren't you dreadfully scared, Miss Flypp, when the bear got his arms around you?” asked Mr. Maddox. “Oh, dear, no,” replied Miss Flypp. ‘I was once engaged to a Pittsburg young man.” A BITTER DISAPPOINTMENT. Mrs, Redrivers—“And that, Mrs. Clum, is the whole story of the affair from beginning to end.” ; Mrs, Clum (eagerly) —"And is it a secret?” Mrs. Redrivers —"Oh, no; not at. all” Mrs. Clum—"V'm so sorry! 1 did want to tell Mrs. Longjaw.” A HINT. TO THE SERENADERS. PROFESSOR CARBOAT (singing): “You may talk about arson and murder, You may sing of the auto da fé, Cutorvs 8Y THE AuDIENCE—"‘Chink, chink, chink!" But the man who wrote Anniebel Rooney Should be made to do hari-karay, comicbooks.com