Judge — December 26, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Arwen. Brennan Griras. 1. M, Guecory, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN| ADVANCE ‘One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for ty weeks Including the Cuuistwas Jude. nas RIPTIONS—To alt for- in the postal union, $64 year. THe JuDGeE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce Buitpinc), Cor, Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York. EL We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other (merican satirical paper published. Neri Jovan ia for sale at Brentano's. 17 Avenue def Opera, Paris, vewspaper Agency at 15 King William street, Strand, W. Cx Lon American Exchange, Mains, Germany. and by Ch, Ee Alioth, Gem Cabte address" JoooKans. by the American at Saarbach's ‘Switserland. ON'T YOU be a czar, Mr. Crisp. T. B. Reed is on the floor and he might shoot a bomb at you. M®- HILL has the impression that he has made himself a Christmas. present of the silver states. T° ALL PERSONS with quarrels on—There, there, children! Swear ‘em off till after New-year's. PERHAPS we had better look upon Mr. Brice 1s a senator at large— and take measures for his ul- timate confinement. WEY." asks a correspondent, “did Dom Pedro carry around a bag of earth with him?” Because, dear sir, he wanted the earth. R Q. MILLS was so mad that * he wanted to bite off his own ear, with a slight preference in behalf of that of his principal ‘opponent. THE DAUGHTER of Dom Pedro talks of “her rights” in, Brazil. Her father was not so un- wise. If he had been he might have died earlier. WEMUST ASK Messrs. Blaine and McKinley not to hang up their stockings. Just as sure as they do they'll get. something that'll make trouble. GET most of our scan- — wear'm out.” dalous divorce cases from England now, and they are so bad that they almost ma our own. ¢ us proud of [71S NO more than fair to give the Indian the right of suffrage, and that will make it necessary to greatly increase the emergency funds of the national campaigns. THE RECENT QUESTION presented by the czar to this country. “How do you like bombs 2" is irrelevant, ‘The question at issue re- lates to the condition of our friends the Hebrews. [CEMAN TURNER is now fh a fair way to make a fortune. Indeed we may almost prophesy that he will be another godfather to little Flossie, who must hang up her stocking this very night. 8. CRISP hastened to remark that he was just as bad a free-trader as anybody, and the Democratic Santa Claus needn't skip his stocking on account of a suspicion of any mean old conservative virtue. F THE LATE Mr. Loppy was electrocuted to heaven it would be meanness to regret it, since we are all so bad that we can all afford to be generous; but if his taking off was not an entire success it was at least not more agonizing than the death he gave his wife. a SHORT-LIVED SWELLDOM. Visitor —'* Who is that young gentleman at the anvil 2” Berrenny (the dlacksmith)—"* That's my son Enoch. York an’ blew in a month's pay on dude clo’es, an’ now, Sage tried to put aclerk between himself and the bomb. If this is true the charge of stingiess against Mr. Sage must be withdrawn. We haven't the slightest doubt that in the openness of his heart he would have made the young man a Christmas present of the entire contents of the missile. [t 1S CHARGED that M HARRISON ON CHILI. SYNOPSIS of the president's views as to our relations with Chili—Four new warships have been placed in commission this y four more are in process of construction. We should have a modern and a large navy....."I have been greatly rejoiced to notice many evidences of the increased unification of our people and of a revived national spirit.” BRICE AND OHIO. . BARGAIN AND SALE must be protected. ‘The commercial principle is sacred. Calvin S, Brice bought and paid for his seat in the senate, and all measures to oust him must exhibit the shame of Ohio even more than his own, Lately the Republican members of the Penn disgraced their state and their party. Let us keep the legis states as clean as possible, and be content, if there is no remedy possible, to let bad enough alone. HILL’S SILVER AND INFLUENCE. BEFORE SENATOR HILL has gone to Washington his presence is felt in the house. The result of the fight for the speakership is claimed as his victory and Cleveland's loss, and behold! his licutenant, Mr. Sheehan, turns the tide in his favor. There are persons who have said that Hill would be a nonentity in the senate-chamber and of no account in the lower establishment. Well, his alliance with Mr. Gorman doesn’t have that appearance, any- more than does the victory of Crisp.’ But just the same a very large majority of the Democratic party are radical for what they call tariff-reform, and nothing Senator Hill can say will make the silver question the supreme issue on the Democratic side. and twenty- MERRY CHRISTMAS! (@HILDREN are our best citi- zens. While they are some- what given to the destruction of such things as they can reach which are not clad with iron, and while they catch diseases which are ap- parently not within a mile of them and sometimes have two at a time, their inexperience and lack of ob- servation are a sweet assurance of an innocence good enough to have come from heaven. Never a child is cross-eyed as to its optics or its disposition in the eyes of its parents; and if there are no bonds of sympathy between parents as a whole with respect to babies in general it is merely because of the trifling fact that no mother and father‘love their miscellaneous kind as they do themselves and each the other. Each pair is a gospel unto itself, whereof the leaves are turned and smeared by the unique baby; and to that amazing child in particular and in general Santa Claus is as good as if there were a million of him in one, and each were the chief of the million, Oh let us sing the praises of pinafore He went down t’ by Jim! he's got ter ” Phin OLp TURK—"'Now, I advise you young things " +. to begin fasting, for about Christmas time great long and paregoric, two.legzed things with hatchets come around and chop and heaven be — our heads o generous to us as _, YOUNG TURKs—"Oh, go'long! You think ‘cause % we're young you can stuff us, we are generous to OLD TURK — ‘Well, just you keep on getting fat them ! and you'll find yourselves stuffed clean up to the neck.” comicbooks.com