Judge — December 26, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HAD a dream. It seemed to me ‘The devil was my chum. My friend was looking glum. At last (to cheer him up) said 1, “Old chap, su we make For fun our choice of Christmas gifts. Come, now, what will you take?" ** Let's see,’" quoth his satanic nibs ‘As he took up his tail And hit it quite abstractedly Against his coal-black nail. His tail began to rise. “It's new ‘And just about my size.” “Already T’ve so many things ‘That really, I confess It's hard to choose. Hello! what's I see a gorgeous dress.” - You'd cut a pretty swell.” At thought of which I roared aloud, Quoth Nick, ** Dear boy, now you May laugh ; but if Thad that dress ‘The woman would come too.” A CHANGE OF OPINION, Ant crrtic—"* What do you think of Alma Cadmium’s painting?” Axvist —" Oh, [think it is superb.” Ant crtric—" I'm surprised to hear you say that. /Ye says just the reverse of yours.” * Axtist—"Ah, well; pethaps we're both mistaken.” A CONTRARY WORLD. THE many gifts before us set We must, of course, admire, But somehow people never get ‘The things that they desire. A POOR RULE, ETC. Agitator —"\ tell you this eight- hour work-day is going to doa lot j of good to the mass of employed people. By the way, Sarah, is sup- per r z Agitator’s wife—"No; my eight hours was up at half-past five to-day.” MUCH TOO LONG. Dimling—* The duel has had its hour. Tatling —* That is too long.” Dimling —“What do you mean ?) Tatling —" only two second duel requires Padsio him his name.” ‘Twas Christmas eyé. We sat alone. His fiery eyes glowed bright and red; “'Twas made by Worth he cried Amazed at such’a wish, said 1, “Great grief! old boy, do tell this? What use you'd have for such a thing. TOM Masson. SPITEFUL HINTY (the man-o'-wars THE TATTOO-ARTIS ITALY. yw much d’ yez want?” Hinty—" Here yez are. It's wort’ it t’ have ‘God save Irelan’’ on a Connemara man's back. But yez tickled me wanst or twice whin yez wor phrickin’ that sicond loine.” HOW SHE LOOKED AT IT. eT IS true,” said Eve to the serpent, “that I have a very circumscribed choice in selecting a husband, but still I have one advantage in marrying Adam.” “ What is that?” “He can’t sit up and tell me I can’t cook like his mother.” SATISFACTORY. Father —"What are your expecta- tions, sir?” Young man—"1 have arich uncle on his death-bed.” Father —* Well, sit.” Young man—* Well, he has left his money to found a library in New York. Father —“ Take her, and be happy.” A NATURAL QUESTION. Gazlay —" Who's your friend?” Snooper —"* That was honest Jim Thomson.” Gaslay—“ How much did he steal?” A DELAYED CHRISTENING. Runesstein —"' Vat you gif der baby dis year?" : —"‘Ach, ve vos shly like foxes. Ve vait till Grissmas unt gif Witreisne: cyclone.” LITTLE BESSIE’S CHRIST- MAS EVE. W HO says that Christmas is played out, ‘That Santa Claus is dead? T'll not believe it, nor would you If you heard what grandpa said; For he and I will watch to-night, Nor never nod nor tire, And grandpa hung his stocking up With mine beside the fire. SOME NEEDED INVEN- TIONS. i PAIR of spectacles that will make Santa Claus see the small boy as others see him. A contrivance to make the bad boy believe that he isn’t better than he is when Christmas comes. An appliance to shut the one eye that little Johnnie keeps open when Santa Claus enters the room. thusia: They and ar unanin case th Alfr not obi or use unfort ers wh Hei most Ik His such c not be His with h The plete t clusive succes: smoott the ins ent. I of Kna Have comicbooks.com