Judge, 1891-12-19 · page 10 of 16
Judge — December 19, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several short satirical pieces mocking Victorian social conventions and human foibles: **"Christmas Confidences"** presents children's innocent observations about gift-giving, revealing adults' financial struggles and hypocrisy—parents pretend generosity while secretly worried about costs. **"Too Rapid"** jokes about a poet whose suicide plan makes his last poem literally "rapid" (ending quickly on a fast train)—dark humor about suicidal ideation. **"Her Place Supplied"** presents a husband claiming he wasn't lonely during his wife's absence because the parrot kept him company—satirizing marriage and companionship. **"A Genius"** features a character inventing a cigarette that doesn't require smoking, mocking both patent absurdity and the era's cigarette culture. **"Profit from Misfortune"** depicts a managing editor seeing a cat accident in the printing press as an advertising opportunity—cynical satire of commercialism. **"The Art Connoisseur"** contrasts the "real" and "ideal" versions of art appreciation (bottom illustrations, now faded). The page is primarily satirical humor targeting middle-class pretension, financial anxiety, and commercial opportunism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE HAD BEEN IN TOWN BEFORE. your hat, sir?” No; had it checked. I'm goin’ down a’ L know what's style. Any good dances goin’ on these evenin’s?” TOO RAPID. ¢SVHAT do you think of my poem?” “It’s good ; but the action seems to be a little rapid.” “Well, it’s the last poem I shall ever — ~ My dear boy, allow me to congratu “On a railroad-train going forty miles an hour.” HIS’ ONE TIME, THE dude, despised in every land, Finds many places hard to climb ; And yet the goose is dearly loved Ry every one at Christmas time: HER PLACE SUPPLIED. Tumdik—"\ suppose you were very lonely the month your wife spent at her mother's.” Hojack—“Oh, no. She left the parrot at home.” JUDGE CHRISTMAS CONFIDENCES. 66] WONDER,” queried the toy-dealer’s boy, “ why everybody orders the things sent home after dark.” “It looks,” panted Tommy Greedy, ‘as if Santa Claus was about brok: when he reached here.” “A drum is better than. candy after all,” concluded the small boy when he had caten the last piece. “T wish,” cried the youngster, “| hadn’t swapped the skates and the bob-sled last summer for the velocipede.”” “ The best Christmas-box I ever had,” mused the bad boy, “was when I coaxed me little brother to put on the gloves.” “T wish I hadn't eaten all the mince-meat,” confessed little Johnnie. “It tastes so much better when it’s made into pies. “L think that Charlie is waiting until Christmas to propose,” sighed Clara, “so that the ring will take the place of a present.” “When I tell father what I would like Santa Claus to bring me,” mused the thoughtful lad, “ I wonder why he goes and asks ma what she thinks it will cost.” Even though pa is broke we had plenty to eat," moralized a little tot.“ But I wonder what the butcher meant when he said he was about tired of playing Santa Claus to the family.” A GENIUS. IWeggte (in confidence) —* I've inwented a patent cigawette, ol’ fel’, that you don’t have to smoke, ‘cause it'll burn without any twouble at all.” PROFIT FROM MISFORTUNE. Foreman —'*‘Th’ cat got in th’ press, sir.”” MANAGING EDITOR (lo advertising agent) —"* Mr. Cook, just run ‘round to the fur-store ‘on the corner and see if you can’t catch them for a full-page displayed ad. at reduced rates.” THE ART CONNOISSEUR. and The ideal, Two of the har new diary and a sh Mrs, Winstor Teething ; soothe all pain, cures w bottle. Tf a man thinks he meets knows of When Baby w When she wa: When she bec When she had You laugh at their story were ¥ and your family v CHAI PA Ta THE Are at present the Warerooms, 14S 8 Cwicaco, Tu. 236 Club Building S Gry, Mo.. 1133 M A bricut, sr “FAD Forty-four page and containing the world’s greatest w ing news stands of Than any FOR SALE | Have you comicbooks.com