Judge — December 12, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE fat stocking makes the lean wallet. ‘The Yule-log contains many interesting stories. ‘A green Christmas doesn’t stop Santa Claus’s sleigh. The Christmas JUDGE passes only pleasant sentences. The parrot sees even more of the doings of Santa Claus than the small boy. The beggar, full of sorrow, is apt to wish you a merry Christmas. If the society belle hung up her stocking nothing less than a real duke would satisfy her, and from what we know of the breed he would be small enough to go in it. A SOUL IN TRAVAIL. He—* Mrs. Crumpton carried Jack Harding off bodily to the salva- tionist revival. She's so much interested in him !” Did the exhorters have any effect on him?” Yes; he rushed up to the mourners’ bench and cried out, *What shall 1 do to be lost?" AT THE END OF THE TRIP. ANGRY PASSENGER —"* Why didn’t you shine my boots, you black pirate?” Didn’ hab time, boss. Wuz fightin’ wiv d’ baggage- masher all night Passencer —"* What's that got to do with it?” PALACE-CAR KING—" He wanted t’ kerry d boots off in d’ baggage-car ‘n Heigl A MODEST REQUEST. ARABETTA (the contortionist, as the last patron goes out)—"* Love me, Staggers?” His MANAGER —"* Course I does, Betty.” ARABETTA—"' Git a marline-spike an’ pick me out, will yer?" CLOSING CHRONICLES. [NTERVIEWS with nature shorten. Contracted are the heart-strings of the world. The wind walks through the grass and misses a favorite flower. The gold and silver of the flower-realm have been bartered for winter stores. Hold fast our hopes, good winter, and the remnants of our desires. Dole out our pleasures sparingly if thou must, bat fail thou not in making us joint heirs with spring. Winter drinks at a draught the wine of autumn’s sunshine left from her feast; he has gathered her shafts of light into his quiver and lays a jealous finger upon her souvenirs. Ko DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Stranger —"1 believe you are connected with the Twenty-third national bank. Gentlenan—* Yes, sit.” Stranger —" Will you be kind enough to tell me something about the financial standing of the institution >" Gentleman —" Well, really, I'm afraid I can’t. I'm simply a director, you know.” ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT. Bloobumper —* What a pretty child Mrs. Jaysmith’s baby is!" Ars. Bloobumper —" Yes; and it didn’t get its beauty from its papa either.” Bloobumper —"\ don’t know about that. Jaysmith hasn't any left.” AN EXCHANGE OF GIFTS. erty’s meshes caught, no wonder my woes increase. have given my sweetheart naught ; She has given me my release HEREDITARY. Amy —"1 wonder why Congressman Jerry Simpson won't wear socks?” Mabel— Perhaps he was born barefooted.” OVERHEARD. S*ETE'S a square man.” “More octagon, 1 think. He has a number of. good points.” QUALIFIED. ] LOVE the music that hand. THE YOUNG-OLD MAN. organs play ; y REGRET. MANAGER (us Dippleby comes up to buy a ticket)— Winskexs (aged sixty, on the club stairs)—"'Aw, old man!" I love it, that is, when it’s far + sorry, madam, but we signed with a couple of bearded CatLowny (aged troenty-tieo)—"* Haw, me boy ! away, ladies last week.” all pain bottle. Youn; often m Youn to say sc the wild Than FOR SI Have comicbooks.com