Judge — December 5, 1891 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bnent the tamily gbost tbat forgot to intervene one Christmas, and why tbe villain does not still pursue Mabel. OU can't see him? Oh, that's so; I forgot. But he’s pot- bellied now, and shambles good-naturedly into the room with a rock-of-ages air that doesn’t become him at all. Why, years ago he was a great swaggering buck who swore at his meals and sent down insulting messages to the cook, and carried a deck of aces in his vest pocket. He used to lounge around the avuncular brewery all day ; but he never did any work and was always behind time like the back of a clock. No one feared he'd injure himself or get hurt ; for had he fallen into a vat he would have saved himself by drinking the vat dry. No, sir; there wasn't a better accident-insurance risk in the country than Bertie, for he never became excited unless he heard some stranger advocate prohibition. But one June morning he told his father that he was going to travel in search of a wife for better or worse. So his married friends—believing in the latter and disclaiming the former on the grounds of experience—gave him good-luck and left him to break the news to the undertaker. Now, you must know, Bertie’s brother, Jack, was of an entirely differ- ent mould; and, judging from the result, it is only fair to say Jack's birth- day fell on an off day with the mould. He was solemn and lantern-jawed, and wore creaks in his shoes and wrinkles in his forehead. When he went fishing he used to send his bait ahead, by express, and marked “Boots.” Of course, every coin that's light-weight isn’t bad; but Jack was pure lead, and though he wore a fine watch-chain there was only a lump of copper at the pocket end. He was keen, though, and thought Bertie showed more courage than sense in hanging round till some mil- lionaire adopted him. And he showed his keenness when he became engaged to his cousin Mabel, who, as every one knows, inherited a neat sum of money from a patent collar - button that was war- ranted toelope with itself whenever needed, But it so happened that Bertie, during his wanderings, met his adorable cousin and fell so deeply in love with her that he could even find himself—much like a Chicago detective. And, you see, he didn’t want to let his father know anything of it so that he might surprise the old gentleman with the an- nouncement that he'd married money; which was all he was fit for, since he couldn't nave earned five dollars a month to any one’s satisfaction save (Continued on page 20.) AN UNPLEASANT DIVERSION. Rev. Sam Suinpones—‘ Yes, my deah breddern an’ sisters, nevah tuch de poison cup ob intoxicating hilarousness. Shun it; shun it like de debil "—— ——"‘But der are some pussun in dis yhere camp-meetin’ who not alone strays from de path ob ‘ligion, but also ‘propriates de property ob oders to his own sinful ends, I make no accusations, his sin will And hit out, Tes from Jersey.” comicbooks.com