Judge — November 28, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

x JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Arcett. Brennan Gittam. LM. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers = ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy: for 13 weeks = =~ Including the Cuxistwas Jue. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— Teall for. ign countric in the postal union, ‘a year. THE JuDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BurLpixc), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. CR We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical paper published. le at, Brantane's, 17 Avenue del Opera, Paris: by the American ts King William street, Strand, W. C, London; at Saarback's ‘many,and by Ch. Ex iteerland. MILLIONS FOR A NAVY and not a cent for an idle and useless surplus. oh see ‘O MR. FONSECA of Brazil—Dear sir, do you want to be hanged or do you prefer to shoot yourself? 59: 38 HE PLATT or the Grant who opposes New York as the place for the national conventions will be snowed under. wae DOSN PLATT was constitutionally displeased, and when he was called upon to die his indignation knew no bounds. : cee ACKBONE is a good thing in a ruler, but he doesn’t want to keep it on exhibition like an ossi- fied man. POM PEDRO must not come back to Brazil as the king, though he might be admitted as the deuce of hearts. N MOST will cases nothing is saved but the fees of the con- testing lawyers, but we must admit that they amount to considerable. eee THE WORK of dress-reform goes right on. We understand that the ten-pound girl of Mrs. Jenness-Miller was born without a corset. you know that, taken care of 7” oe l RELAND,” say Davitt: and O'Brien, “is united again.” Good gracious! in two weeks there won't be an unfractured skull in the whole island. eee T IS SAD to hear the duke of Argyle mention Mr. Gladstone as a fanatic and one incapable of argument—it is sad for the duke of Argyle. eee N STATING that it cost him only five thousand dollars to be elected governor our new state Flower perhaps countS the dollars as the Pickwickian cents. CHILL must give thanks {6rethat slight remnant of common sense which has enabled her to pull in her combative horns and escape the whipping she deserved. see OVERNOR HILL puts some slight politics in his Thanksgiving proclamation, but unfortunately fails to suggest that the divine trinity favors the Democratic ticket. eee 4¢]N THE SOUTH,” says the Richmond Séaée, “we treat traitors as traitot Well, beloved contemporary, in the north we forgive them and restore them to citizens says the IMorld, “has wisely determined to Not exactly that. He has ** GOVERNOR HILL, serve out his term as governor.” decided to serve out Mr, Jones's term as governor. HE HAD HER. Crvy Misstonany—'* My man, how came you to get so disfigured? Don't ing windows of your soul, your eyes ought to be religiously Rounpep-up Petricrew —"' Mine's shtained glash,” HEY DO SAY that R. P. Flower takes the governorship as a step to the presidency, after the manner of Mr. Tilden; but we don’t believe he will have the narrow escape that Uncle Sammy did. eee S J. RUSK aware that he has been stealing much of our rain and exploding it in various localities which were not entitled to it? Does he look upon this sort of thing as a mere Columbian exhibition? eae THE STATE of Ohio is disgraced enough by the senatorship of Calvin S. Brice without repudiating the senatorial claims of John Sherman and restoring to exhibition the vacuous vanity of J. B. Foraker. T TAKES large money to launch a play successfully. Besides. the regular expenses it must have at least two months of losing business in this city, and the emptier the benches the more the cost of newspaper silence or laudation. hea OVERNOR RUSSELL of Massachusetts is being affectionately mentioned by his Democratic friends as “Billy.” This familiarity bodes no good, Presently the boys will begin to borrow his tooth-brush and the very comb he carries in his pocket. VIEWED WITH ALARM. HE TOOTH OF TIME has gnawed viciously into Cleopatra's needle since the retirement of H. Oelrichs from the Democratic national committee; and recently the editor of the Utica Observer cried out in a frenzy of terror, “If H. Oel- richs will return all will be for- given.” There are times when ap- prehension and awe rear their timorous heads as if every babe in the universe had lost its nurs- ing-bottle. SOME MISCHIEF-MAKERS. FOREIGN INTERESTS in South America will provoke a fight among Americans when that is at all possible. There ought to be no serious danger; but men need work in our navy-yards, and that is the only good powder which is kept dry. There are a great many agents of foreign govern- ments whose business it is to make mischief here, and we had better give thanks that for the Present they are not succeeding well enough to be entitled to their salaries. RULERS WHO DON’T RULE THEMSELVES. THE CZAR dislikes the kaiser and the kaiser is obliged by way of self- defense to hate the czar. Each has conspicuously snubbed the other, and both may presently get angry enough to sacrifice some thousands of men by way of a personal vindication. Let us give thanks that we can remove our rulers in due season for childishness like that, and that they are obliged to behave themselves out of respect for the party to which they belong, if they have no respect for themselves. THANKS. T IS WELL that our president and our governors should remind us once a year of the advisability of giving thanks, for otherwise we should forget it in the press of business and pleasure, and thereby confess ourselves unworthy of the various blessings. That would not only be ingratitude, but it would not pay—for it is unavoidable that our thanks as a general thing are given with a lively appreciation of favors that are to come as well as of those which have already arrived. Man is a selfish wretch, and usually has a full heart for only his personal joys and griefs; but surely there ought to be one day on which he may conscientiously devote himself to gratitude for the general welfare and petition for a continued mitigation of the general misfortune. From that point of view let the preachers preach and the singers sing; and behold you! there shall be such Republican victory next year as shall make new music for the morning stars. comicbooks.com