Judge — November 14, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Arent. Brennan Giitaw, 1. M. Guecory, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAKADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers One copy: for 13 weeks =~ Including the Cuxistsas Jur 1.35 FOREIGN RIPTIONS—Teo all for- ‘gn countrieg inthe postal union, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BuiLpiNc), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. $B We euarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical baper published. The Juve it for sale at Brenta al 15 King William street, Strand, Mainz, Germany, and by ChB. Alioth, HOME RULE in Dublin—Wherever you see a head hit it. P ROVERB—He laughs best who waits till he is out of the woods. MBS SEARLES cvidently knew how to draw a will better than Mr. Tilden did. OLONEL SHEPARD having found a man who hauls down the American flag, let us clutch him —the man—and put him in a dime museum. ALL HONOR to Mrs. William A. Hazard, grand-niece of Samuel J. Tilden, who gives to this city a free library worth two million dollars. T 1S A MUGWUMP conclusion that because Mr. Blaine is at the head of the state department the ruf- fians of Chili ought to be permitted to kill our bluejackets SSIA was the only foreign gov- ernment that stood firmly and fearlessly for the union of these states during our civil war. It is a first-rate time to bear that in mind. [T 18 SUCH a pity to associate the name of Mr. Quay with that of Convict Bardsley! but an innocent and confiding man naturally encounters much danger in Pennsylvania. LELAND STANFORD is running for president as a candidate of the farmers’ alliance. His boom is so awk- ward, however, that if he isn’t careful it will hit him in the back and break his spine. Republican ? Mrs, O'HMULLAMAN do know he’s agin the guver’ment. THE FEELING against Jerry Simp- son among the alliance men for drinking champagne is so bitter that the statesman feels like atonement by going around barefooted and totally without a shirt. A WOMAN tried to kiss a Chicago editor, and when he drew back with alarm and indignation, as provided in ail codes of editorial ethics, she shrieked and scratched his face. These outrages are becoming far too frequent. R. BENNETT was furnished with a map of this city on his arrival in it, and after hiring a guide soon found himself in his newspaper establishment, where he was promptly introduced to a few members of his editorial staff. DWIN ARNOLD, according to the Syracuse Journal, is a delightful surprise because he doesn’t drop his h’s. Well, well! There are really several cultivated Englishmen who neither drop nor pick up that portion of the alphabet. WE DO NOT suppose Mr. Pat Egan is acting for the British govern- ment in Chili; but he has done his best to bring about the existing NO PARTICULAR PARTY. “Shure, Mrs, O'Hullahan, is Moike a Dimycrot or a “* Faith, T dunno, troubles between the new government and the United States, and a few Irishmen have been glad to get British gold before now. HIS IMPERIAL CHILDISHNESS.. T IS UNFORTUNATE that the emperor of Germany should be guilty of the excessive vanity with which he has been charged. If his skin is so thin that he must heeds resent a harmless pleasantry by forbidding the circulation of the JUDGE within his imperial domain, it is not surprising that he fails to raise a beard, there being no inducement to the same in the unimposing front whereon, according to a popular impression, the beard ought to grow. Happily, his majesty will be older and less fretful some day; but meanwhile it is a pity he cannot tarry in Jericho and culti- vate the whisker and manliness of the genial Fritz and the previous William. THE MONROE IDEA. S THE JUDGE has said, the next war in which this country takes a part will arise from complications in South America with which foreign governments will have more or less to do, The business interests of England in Chili are large, and other of our southern republics are con- trolled to a greater or less extent by foreign trade. The war is probably along way off—it may not come at all; but it behooves the peoples of the continent to grow together as fast as they can for mutual protection. Mr. Blaine’s plan to that end is the best; but meanwhile every American government must take care of its self-respect by taking care of the rights of its citizens, in Chili and everywhere else. KEEP THE LAUGH. T IS SERIOUSLY urged by that excellent publication, the ///ustrated American, that it is not right to make fun of domestic life. Dear. contempo- rary, if that rule were generally fol- lowed there would be no fun in any- thing; and really, the institution that is not strong enough to bear with and laugh with good-natured raillery is weak enough to die of nothing what- ever. Let us not draw the line against the laugh. There is nothing gained by unrelieved grief; and the charge that sacred things are too much ridiculed is balanced by the fact that, make the best of it, there are too many tears, of no value whatever, in nearly all the doings of this world, GONE! WE SUFFER excessively from the absence of those charming allu- sions to Mr. Fassett as an attachment to a barrel and Mr. Flower as a new species of chrysanthemum. During the preliminary disturbances the JUDGE got about sixty a day, all of them wear- ing the same stripes and variety of adornment; and it grew so fond of them that, now that they are gone, it seems as if there had been a funeral somewhere. As a general thing the election joke is direct and emphatic, lacking both soul and wit and as devoid of ornamentation as a canal-horse in the fall without its burdocks; but the Fassett-Flower business was so different, in some kind of undiscovered way, that it is dismissed with tenderness and pangs. He is one or the other. I Do ye moind thot ?" THE PENNSYLVANIA SCOUNDRELS. T DOESN'T look well for the Republicans of the Pennsylvania senate to fight against the admission of evidence whose sole purpose is to establish the truth. Whatever advantage Governor Pattison and the Democratic party may get {rom the investigating session of that body, the truth hurts no honest man, and its suppression in this instance does hurt the Republican party. There is a great deal of mystery in the office- holding that prevails in Pennsylvania, and it will be a by-word and a re- proach to the Republican party of the union until the whole truth about it is known, Very likely the truth will burt, half its glorious reputation by the courage it has shown in exposing its own as well as the enemy's iniquity. Cowardice never pays, whatever price the Pennsylvania ring may offer for it. 00; but the party has made comicbooks.com