Judge, 1891-11-07 · page 7 of 18
Judge — November 7, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Two Views of Waltzing"** contrasts romantic male perception with crude reality—a woman's dreamy account of dancing versus a man's ungainly, sweaty version. The satire mocks male obliviousness to their own unattractiveness. **"Adam a Virginian"** jokes about Southern aristocratic pretension, suggesting Virginia families falsely claim descent from "first families" while their coat of arms depicts the Garden of Eden—implying Adam as their ancestor, an absurd genealogical claim. **"Getting Ahead of Satan"** features a reporter using a "fire-badge" (press credential) to gain entry to Hell itself—satirizing journalistic persistence and perhaps press corruption/access. Other brief humor pieces target absurdities: a rooster that can't lay eggs, "watered stock" as financial pun, and age-gap romance logic. The cartoons throughout use exaggerated Victorian-era drawing styles to highlight the jokes' targets—pretension, vanity, and social absurdity among different classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE TWO VIEWS OF WALTZING. is view. HE lean‘d on my arm while we circled to- gether, *Mid soft, dreamy sound, ~ Till I prayed we might swim through the scent- laden ether Forever around ! | Im the strands of her dark locks the amber light gloated, Her blue eyes gleamed bright ; ||, While o'er the oak floor filmy skirts swept and floated Like fall'n leaves by night. MEK VIEW, He hung round my waist, while his grimy glove finger'd My white, fleecy gown ; To slow time he raced and to fast time he linger'd And grinned like a clown ! rer the heights of his collar his red face glow'd brightly, Like lobster boiled red ; And round as the moon in the sky that shines nightly ‘The shape of his head. EMULATIVE, beelelctaesear apers MCSLATHERS (with his hands full al the tenement-house fire) —"* Will yez moind th’ immytation av that cat?” ADAM A VIRGINIAN. +e YOU claim descent from one of the first families of Virginia, I be- RE Re : ees ; : ; aryttn 3 teh % 4 "Yes ; our crest is a representation of a scene in the garden of Eden. GARE erand b MIXED. ve ig eerenal 9 , f 2 SELIG MYERS of Michigan owns a rooster which stands five feet, two y f i} : 2 9 inches high and can crow to be heard a mile, but he can’t lay an egg. Neither can the rooster. A FEW DEFINITIONS. Imprudence —The vanity of audacity. Jrony—The sarcasm of anger. Obsequiousness —The indiscretion of urbanity. Heroism —The poetry of courage. Pity—The benevolence of contempt. GETTING AHEAD OF SATAN. Satan—* Well, what do you want?” Reporter —* | want to come in.” Satan —* What kind of a life have you led 2” Reporter — Saintly. Satan —" Then you can’t come in.” Reporter — Wall, I guess I can come in; what do you say to that ?” Then, showing his fire-badge, he walked inside. Go WHAT HE GOT. Proprietor —'* What d’ yer want Lirrur Cumtey—"T'd like something in the way of a frappe to improve my head, I had a positively awful time lawst night — positively awful, T asshaw you.” Proprievor (to assistant) —"* Gimme der bung-starter, Jimmy!” WATERED STOCK. oe D° YOU take any stock in the theory of these rain-makers ?” “Yes, but it's watered.” THE FROST. + WIEHAT ho, fer the erackle and tingle that come ‘when the weather grows sharp ! nee When the world moves along toa jingle and time drops:his scythe for a harp, * When sparks through the chimney go danéing and snow-flakes with terror are tossed, rod When rainbows through ice-gems are glancing — what ho, for the season of frost ! Then off with the languor of lilies, away with the droop of the rose ; ENCOURAGING HIM. 5 No longer each stir of the will is o'ercome by the wish for repose ; Broter Jack —'‘I asked Virginia Cooper to marry me and she said there was too Come, Katydid, silence your tuning ; the charm of your musicis lost. &Teat_a discrepancy in our ages. Farewell to our moping and mooning, and hail to the coming of frost! Beoraee jane pee ert : PMLLANDER €. JONNSON. Sister—‘‘And you're nineteen. So just wait two years and you'll both be twenty-one.” comicbooks.com