Judge, 1891-11-07 · page 10 of 18
Judge — November 7, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of late-19th/early-20th-century satirical magazines: **"Halloween"** is a sentimental romantic verse about two young people meeting by chance. **"What's Sauce for the Goose"** is a fable about an elephant that retaliates against a Kornak (Indian mahout) who used its head to crack coconuts—the elephant later does the same to the man. The moral: turnabout is fair play. **"His Preaching—His Practice"** satirizes hypocrisy: a preacher condemns stealing kisses as sinful, yet freely bestows them on a young woman in private. The "practice" contradicts the "preaching." **"No Obstruction to Business"** features a Yiddish-dialect couple; their child is hit by a falling sign, but the husband is more concerned about getting the sign fixed than checking on the boy—darkly comic commentary on misplaced priorities. The page mixes sentiment, animal fables, religious hypocrisy, and immigrant comedy stereotypes typical of Judge's content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HALLOWEEN. ER MOUTH was full of water; So was mine. We met upon the corner Just at nine. We looked so wondrous funny, Cheeks a-puff, That I broke the charm by laughing, Sure enough. “Oh, Carl !" she said, all blushing Rosy red. “Dear May !" said I, and gently Bent my head. T saw her home, the treasure Of my life, And left, with kisses, late **'Twas fate that bade us meet, My love,” I cried; “Thus answering true the mystic trick My promised wife. We've trie, TONE L. JONES, WHAT'S SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE ETC. (From the German.) A Kornak, riding on an elephant, purchased a cocoanut at a fruit-stand, which he opened by simply smashing it on the skull of the animal. As may be imagined, the elephant resented this inconsiderate mode of cracking cocoanuts, but laid it up in his mind A few days later the Kornak, walking in front of the animal, passed the same fruit-stand, The elephant reached over to the stand, grasped a cocoanut by means of his trunk, lifted it high in the air, and brought it down repeatedly with a crash on the head of tie Kornak. It is said that the Kornak never cracked cocoanuts on the elephant’s skull thereafter. SURP! Aunt PersHeBA—"* What in th’ world 's that, Jane?" Jeaxxe—"A Cowes cap, auntie. I wore it all summer.” AUNT PersHena— Well, my stars! They must think a heap of the critters down your way. Our Bess is contented with jest horns.” HIS PREACHING—HIS PRACTICE. (From the iweet singer of Baltimore) HE SAID ‘twas wrong tosteala kiss, And mischief always sure would follow. Religion gives the greatest bliss, Although the hardest pill to swal- low. His white cravat did gleam one night In a lone place of contempla- tion, The fairy creature in his sight Received full meed of adoration, And kisses one, two, three fell fast, And more so thick I could not count ‘em, On mouth and cheek so freely cast, No am'rous zeal could well dis- count ‘em, When he had ceased that play of bliss And finished up his peroration ‘There was a practice in each kiss That proved his preaching mild sensation, wea. MARINE, collector at Baltimore, Md. NO OBSTRUCTION TO BUSI Mrs. HeimsteTreR—"It fell down on poor leedle Aaron's het, unt he vos mosd mit Heimsrerrer —"* Put him in der vindow vhile I goes unt gets der sign mendet.” comicbooks.com or { :