Judge — October 31, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

484 HUM OF THE COURT. MR. MEYER of Brooklyn has, we think, been baptized to that precise position. LACARD to outsiders at Irish funeral — Don’t slop your tears into our mourning.” THINK that in a few days our Ruth will be old enough to begin to glean.— G. Cleveland. LOOK upon the omission to fight over the corpse of Parnell as the greatest of modern miracles. SAM JONES says he would rather be a highway- man than a bar-keeper, and we must say that he is admirably fitted for his selection. [NAN EXCESS of praise for Cleveland one paper says he is rapidly losing flesh, but we can prove that he recently gained eight pounds. fe ee DESPERATION. MR. CURTIS supports the Republican ticket, but LON 5 ; . Mr. Jawai —'* Can't you play something besides plunkety-plank he wants, it. thoroughly understood ; that, his Waris yes, Treah play * Comrales* and Annie Rooney." vote is still delicate and unique. Mr. Janntt —" Keep on with plankety-plunk.” ‘THE FRIENDS of Jerry Simpson are shocked and indignant. He not only wears stockings, but has taken part in a wine-supper and thrown the stump of his cigar into a cuspidore instead of on the floor. What is the man coming to? Presently he will wear a clean shirt and get his shoes blacked. MBE. INGALLS got his facts and figures for a recent article {rom the congressional dictionary. The charge that he is therefore guilty of stealing, or plagiarism, is as silly as the similar charge against Cleveland because he got material from an encyclopedia. It would be as reasonable to charge a man with stealing his language from Noah Webster. +49] 1ZE AND MOSE" of the old Bowery, one day years ago, went through that section with strips of mourning attached to each left sleeve. Mose smoked his cigar and carried a little box under his arm, A stranger brushed against them, and as he passed on Mose turned and sur- veyed him savagely. “‘Liza,” he said, as the walk was reluctantly resumed, “ef he runs agin our funeral jest once more I'll lam-m-m ‘im across de mouth."— But the burial was as peaceful as that of the late Mr. Parnell. ASSISTANCE AT HAND. Gamts (as Aunt Fanny appears in doorway) —"* Run round to de engine- house an’ git de boys wid th’ fire-net, Skidsy ! I b’lieve der fat dame's goin’ ter jump !" HE REBEL, Jerome Carpenter, who captured Neal Dow during the war is said to be dying—possibly because the confederacy let Neal go. THE AGITATION regarding gum is good as far as it goes; but what of the enormous expenditures of the girl student for pickles and slate-pencils ? WHEN WE HEARD of the death of Charles I., king of Wiirtem- berg, we felt indignant because his majesty had forgotten to invite us to be in at the departure. . OW GOOD it is to be a good man! If Elder Thornton and his sister-in-law hadn't had an excellent reputation they would have been suspected, like other persons of their kind, of sorrow for a premeditated though truly good elopement. HAT IS an affectionate title that Mr. Sheehan has won from one of the orators —“ The blue-eyed, red-haired Irish boy of Black Rock.” They used to call Henry Clay the mill-boy of the slashes, but what was Henry in comparison with our Willie? T IS A QUESTION with numerous clergymen whether they shall get away from the church or the church away from them, and it is easier for the mouse than Mahomet to move. But, alas! it is difficult to tell which is Mahomet and which the mouse. THE SCANDAL as to baccarat has not permanently injured the prince of Wales. A national: disgrace makes an Englishman extremely kind, and again it is safer to play with his royal highness now that Gordon- Cumming cannot stack his fingers and thumbs. PDO PEDRO petitions in vain to be allowed to spend his declining ; years in Brazil. We have all confidence in the Brazilian republic, _ FIRST SNAPPER-UP OF UNCONSIDERED TRIFLES— ‘*'Ow yez finde but to refuse such a slight favor as that is evidence of a lack of confidence een ECOND. 4NABPERIUG OP” UHGONSIDERAD HRINLES = Me or cers on the part of the government that makes ours rather ridiculous, eis —. ps comicbooks.com