Judge, 1891-10-24 · page 13 of 16
Judge — October 24, 1891 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, with minimal editorial content. The few short satirical pieces are: 1. **Anecdote about a parliamentary candidate**: A politician canvassing for votes encounters a woman whose husband he defended in a gun-theft case. She's grateful, but her language—saying "we've got the gun in the house now"—embarrasses the candidate by suggesting the alleged theft was real. The satire mocks both corrupt politicians and their constituents' crude honesty. 2. **Real estate agent joke**: A newly arrived real estate agent in heaven immediately begins boasting about the climate and pushing his crown aside—satirizing real estate salesmen's aggressive, relentless marketing tactics as almost demonic. 3. **A runaway horse invention**: Satirizes a Chicago inventor's electric nose-shocking device as needlessly complex compared to simply driving horses against telegraph poles. The page is otherwise dominated by period advertisements for Scott's Emulsion (cod liver oil), breakfast cocoa, soap, and other consumer goods typical of late-19th-century American magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
I took Cold, I took Sick, 1 T00K SCOTT'S EMULSION RESULT? I take My Meals, I take My Rest, AND I AM VIGOROUS ENOUGH TO TAKE ANYTHING ECAM LAY MY MANS ox 5 etting fiat too, FoR Sco Emulsion of Pur re Cod Liver it ing Hy pophosph ites of Limean jOT ONLY CURED MY Incip- pode Consumption svt suit ME UP, AND 1S NOW PUTTING FLESH ON MY BONES AT THE RATE OF A POUND ADAY, I TAKE IT JUST AS EASILY AS I DO MILK.” SUCH TESTIMONY IS NOTHING NEW. SCOTT'S EMULSION IS DOING WONDERS DAILY. TAKE No OTHER. EARL aw ILSON'S NEN -COLLARS & CUFFS | BESTINT A Chicago man has invented an electric machine for stopping runaway horses. It consists of a dry battery under the driver's box and connected by wires with metal balls placed in the horses’ nostrils. ‘There are two buttons, one on the driver's box the other inside, which will close the circuit when pressed. is a mild shock which, the inventor claims, wi ably bring runaway horses to a standstill. improvement on driving them against a telegraph-pole, but it probably depends on the same principle.— Buffalo Express. He was a candidate for parliament and a limb of the law. Whilst canvassing he was treated to the follow- ing: Mr. Candidate (knocking at the door where the wife appears) —"' Is your husband in?” Wife—'* No, ir; but I know what you want. My husband is sure to vote for you, because you got him off for stealing that gun.” " Candidate—"* No, no; alleged stealing of the gun.” Wife—"‘Alleged be bothered! We've got, the gun in the house now." —Ziverpool Porcupine, First angel (celerring to new arrival) —"* It isn't often re see a real-estate agent up here.” | Second angel— What makes you think he is one?” First angel— Why, didn’t you notice how, as soon as he got inside the pearly gate, he shoved his crown on to the back of his head and ‘began to brag about the climate ?"— Brooklyn Life, ‘I have followed you—1 have found you,” she gasped hoarsely. ‘ You thought you were safe because you had deserted me inthe willerness of Bufalo plains: ut you little dreamed as you chawed those peanuts that the shells were marking a trail for a revengeful woman to follow."—Buffalo Enguirer, No Other Leaves a Delicate and and Lasting “Odor 1 After Using Using. If unable to procure SHANDON BEtis BOAP send 20 tn stamps and recolve a cake by return mall. JAS. S. KIRK & CO., Chicago. ECEAL.Sbandon Bells Walts (tho popular Society Walt sont PREE to anrone sending us throe “rappers of Shandon Bells Boap. Send Wot stame for sample bottle Sandon Bells Pertums, The gold cure for drunkenness is “ten dollars and costs or three months."—PAiladelphia Times, RoOsszs, FALL PLANTING, Canionue FREE woclignt cH, N.Y ELLWANCER & BARRY. GOLD MEDAL, PARIS, 1878, W. Barer & Cos Breakfast Cocoa from which the excess of oil has been removed, Is Absolutely Pure and tt ts Soluble. No Chemicals are used in its preparation, It has more than three times the strength of Cocoa mixed with Starch, Arrowroot or Sugar, and is therefore far more economical, costing less than one cent a cup. It is delicious, nourishing, strengthening, EASILY DIGESTED, and admirably adepted for invalids as well as for persons in health. Sold by Crocers everywhere. W. BAKER & CO., DORCHESTER, MASS, Veattet Tnter- Air m7 ~ CHIIIE. dupted to all efimatea and all vartations, of temperature, a old oy tsding mercoantsin al prioeipal ets Ifscrated Heatioa HARDERFOLD FABRIC Cc Co., Troy, N.Y. PENN vores Sune gut MUTUAL 2,20 sai.cct: LIFE we: Adesso aa! g21-3-5 Chestnut St., Philad’a, Nervousness F: srewell: These are the brands of the best Tea grown. All England drinks it, and English people are the healthiest on the globe. Send for Primer and Samples, CEYLON PLANTERS TEA CO, 110 Fifth Avenue, NEW YORK. tories, ReseDy MAILED rRER Address Cure in 15 da PILES 2 AST A Rosca homce Neer JSRREEVES, Box say, New Vork City, NY. FALL oF 1891—SPRING OF 1892. Get In Line for increased business. How ° ADVERTISE IN The best medium in the world! ah Fitted for all classes of advertising. Send for Estimates and Information. Wriuam L, Mitier, 110 FirtH AVENUE, Manager Advertising Dept. New Yorx. Mite BROS STEEL PENS Are AMERICAN “sy the BEST. CunerrCo, MARS ef STEEL OMY S.EALTE, Con ‘vassers wanted to sell ‘Model Hall Typewriter.” le buy a Stoo machine wher $pp wil purchase a better one. iifestrated catalogue and terms to count agents, Address, N. Typewriter Co., m, THE | LEADS THE CIGAR WORLD. | CUT Catefuily made. Uniform favor. eee lee box of fo, $5.00, prepaid. Mall orders| THIS Me CIGAR | M.A: TIERNEY, Mfr, Troy, N.Y.| OUT. Sadi cenrerne a nae gone Toles Seb Wate Bas i ser rea by Mal ou receipt of #20 tad <THE GREAT AMERICAN TEACO., P. 0, Box 289. ‘$1 and 33 Vesey Street, New York. t i) See JUDCE LIBRARY for October, POLICE! POLICE!” ““sncr*sSszsa FUNNIEST PUBLICATION ON EARTH | i | comicbooks.com