Judge — September 5, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Ament. Branwann Gi.tast, I. M. Gexcouy, Sditer. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAKADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, of s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 96 numbers - 2.30 One copy. forty weeks = == as Including the Cnuistsas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Teall for- cigu countries in the postal union, 1 ae lige e: $64 year. THE JuDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BuILDING), Cor, Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York, £27-We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical paper published y The Juoce i for pele at Srestae ir Agen epee Aimticnn Exthange, Mains, Germany. and b9 ChE. Alioth, Geneva, ie address Jungeant. VERMONT the president is principally known as Mr. Bennington Harrison. eee HE REPORTS as to the Blaine-Alger ticket were spoiled about five minutes before they began. Cee T IS PLEASANT to know that there can be no atrocities in Danne- mora prison because the wife of the warden is an angelic woman. TH eee FLOODS of Elmira have got so much notoriety from their fight with Collector Fassett that they want to. pass ‘themselves off for a deluge. | THe WATERS of Saratoga are purely medicinal. There will be a small sale of these waters in Saratoga on the fifteenth day of this September. see ICOLINI is so alarmed at the cost of Patti’s theatre that it is predicted the charge of insanity will be presented directly after the lady's next farewell tour. THE BOOM of Isaac P. Gray hi a subdued color, and the gen- eral appearance of havin:y been cre- ated as a drooping feather for some other man’s buzzing bonnet. MAHONE leads the Virginia Re- publicans, who are said to be after scalps. Let us suggest that there isn’t a more desirable scalp than that of the ex-confederate general. those trees over yonder PaT—"All right, sor. FARMER (on Ais return) Pat —"'Oi did not, in the mornin’, GOUGAR says ‘she ex- pects to live to see the Repuib- lican party in its grave, Tn view of * the age of this lady the party had better begin its dying with some velocity. ARNER MILLER has recovered from the inflammatory rheuma- tism caught atsNicaragua; and he insists that, looking at it from a business point of view, it was the finest article of sickness he ever had. THE LUGK in odd numbers doesn’t run up to thirteen, as Mr. Rory O'Modre’ doubtless frequently observed. While it is true that the president caught that number of fish at Mount McGregor, one of them got away and then there were twelve. = KAISER is about to raise and his pa beard, after the manner of his nd as he is, besides, at times engaged in reviewing his troops, it would scem as if he hadn't fractured anything more sacred than a bone or so and a few of the proprieties. THE MURDERER of Christie Warden was once a pirate and there is a broad suspicion as to his sanity. This changes matters consider ably, particularly as he put flowers on the murdered girl's grave bouquets for the gentleman will be received at stated hours unt execution. ‘THOROUG Farmer —"' Well, Pat, | am going away to-day, and you had better trim Did you get the trees all trimmed, Pat?" Oi got them ail cut down, and will thrim them out FARMER DUNN growled excessively because, during the recent hot weather, the people of this city complained. “ Only six days of gen- uine summer weather,” he said, wearily. “* The fact is, New-Yorkers want the earth.” Yes, indeed, Farmer Dunn; and during the six days a good many of them got it. WHEN MRS. POLK picked out James K. among the angels and showed him the latest map of the United States James was amazed. “It is too much—I cannot comprehend it,” he said. “But, my dear, said Mrs. Polk, sweetly, “you must remember that the Democratic party Faas had only one president in thirty years.” eee THE GOVERNOR of South Carolina at the last moment reprieved a man and a woman who were standing on the gallows with ropes around their necks. They didn’t confess, but continued to protest that they were innocent. This, in the opinion of the governor of South Caro- lina, constituted a doubt as to their guilt, and he gives them the benefit of the doubt by sending them to prison for life. This is mercy so tempered with cruelty that it looks like barbarity. DO WE LIVE TO LEARN? [7 WOULD be strange if in growing old men did not learn new things and take new views; and the man who is afraid to say, by changing his opinions, that he knows more in his prime than he knew in his youth is too much of a coward to gain anything by living further. Loyalty is a good thing on general principles, but loyalty to a mistake or to injustice is foolishness. Yet we dare say there are a few men still living who think they hate and suspect Mr. Blaine, and who will go on thinking so until they di WHAT-SAY, BRICE? ALVIN S. BRICE is one of the employers of convict min- ers in Tennessee, and it was his company that brought about the recent outbreak of the free miners of that state. The fact is interest- ing to men who work and who vote, and we should think it would be advisable for Mr. Brice to resign his chairmanship of the Democratic national committee—to say nothing of his residence in New York and his position as a senator from Ohio. If this hasn’t occurred to Mr. Brice it might be advantageous to the Democratic party to think about it. GO ON WITH THE SUS- PENSE, [8 FOREIGN POLITICS there is a state of extreme excite- ment. It appears that the youthful kaiser is given to morphine, and recently, at sea, cut such pranks before high heaven as made the Frenchmen and the Russians weep for his lost sanity, Therefore there is talk of a struggle for the repossession by France of Alsace and Lorraine, and of significant movements by Russia having in view various affronts to England, not to mention Turkey, Germany, Austria, and Italy. But the returns from the latter countries are reassuring, it having trans- pired that the kaiser objects to morphine and prefers mil that, after all, there*may be no general war until there cause for it—which, however, may arise to-morrow. QUAY AND THE GREAT SECRETARY. ME: BLAINE is just as good a man as if he did not have the support of such politicians as Quay.. That he is being supported by such men by way of revenge upon certain other men’ does not interfere with the fact that he is the most popular man in the country, and deserves all the praise his name creates. We observe that: Mr. Stephen W. Dorsey says again that the Republican party is not as good as it was in his palmy days. It is a pity that Mr. Blaine is not as fortunate in his enforced re- lations with Quay as the Republican party is in its loss of the good opinion of Mr. Dorsey; but these things cannot be regulated and must have their own way, and Mr. Blaine is powerful enough to withstand the affections of any number of bad and disappointed men, whether he runs for presi- dent or not. to wine; so is some rational comicbooks.com