Judge — September 5, 1891 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN GLASS ORWOOO.FuLLY EQUALTO THE BEST IMPORTED “FOR FAMILY OR 2 CLUB USE <1 B SYRACUSE,N,Y. Mrs. Hayseed (looking over the papet)—“'La, me! the legislature has offered a reward for killin’ English sparrows.” Mfr. Hayseed—"" Huh! them legislators will:do anything t’ cotch th’ Irish vote."—Goed News, Simmons—*You seem ‘to be at outs with Miss Figg.” -Timmons—* Yes; on account of her disgust- ing addiction to slang.” Simmons —“Slang?” Tim mons —"*So I said, You see, I asked her to marry me, and she said * Rats.’""—/ndianapolis Journal. Boastful customer —"' Yes, sir; 1 put a cool three hundred dollars into that watch ‘when -I bought it.” Watchmaker —* I don't doubt it, sir. I find traces of gold still adhering to the inside of the case.""— Jewelers’ Weekly. “IMPROVEMENT THE ORDER OF THE AGE.” THE SMITH-PREMIER TYPEWRITER. HE SMITH PREMIER TYPEWRITER has been ad writing machines by the ASSOCIATED PRESS of the ir telegraphic service to take dispatches direct from the wire. EMIER TYPEWRITER has many IMPROVEMENTS that are | . ALL TYPE CLEANED in TEN SECONDS is. The use of a“ TOOTH BRUSH™ not required. ENT ALIGNMENT. MORE DURABLE than any of its com THE SHIFT KEY SYSTEM RELEGATED toe PAST AGE. FOR FIFTE! be used int THE SMITH P! not found upon an without soiling the PERMA other writing machi ted to the exclusion of all other TATE OF NEW YORK to ‘ors, YEARS type-writer users have been waiting for IMPROVEMENTS. THE SMITH PREMIER TYPEWRITER COMPANY, Send for Iustrated Catalogue. ; BRANCH OFFICES :—291 Broadway, New Yor! Piusburgh, Pa.; 1627 Champa st., Denver. Col. lock, Rochester, N. Yi 77 st., Chicago, IIL Jarnam st., Omaha, N Se Bales dN be 5 214 Wood st. 44 Niagara st., Buflalo, N, ‘7 Powers” Syracuse, N. Y., U.S. A. 335 Chestnut st. Philadelphia, Pa.; 154 Monroe 1 East Ualtimore foodward ave., Detroit, Mich, ~AXION ELASTIC TRUSS — Cures Rupture because it has Perfect Adjustment. Tsworn NIGHT and DAY. Has. pad which can be changed in SHAPE AND SIZE tient, to suit the varying conditions of the Fall and examine. by the ease. Po XLON 7] ELASTIO Mts guaranteed to hold WITH COMFORT the ACT RUSS By worst cave of rupture under all circumstances. (Pavext AuoweD) AXION ELASTIC TRUSS — EXAMINATION FREE. Send for full illustrated catalogue to G, V. HOUSE MPG. COMPANY, 74 BROADWAY, NEW YORK CITY. Please mention this paper. ‘THE CELEBRATED SMITH & WESSON REVOLVERS Accuracy, ‘Durability, Bafety, and Sond for Muatrated Convenience Catalogue & Price List, in Loading. Guaranteed Perfect, SMITH & WESSON, Springfield, Mass, The man who is ruled by his feelings will always travel in a zigzag course,—Ram's Horn, ‘WE MAKE THE CIGAR YOU MAKE THE SMOKE. ‘The BEST Cigar, Five cts. Tiger Cubana sii sere pene: JLLER & SONS, 149cham bersst he LMI am ‘SSt.N.Y. RUHSTRAT GAIL & CO., CHICAGO, ILL: OPIU habit cured wrrnour surremc. cured. 0. S. Sancunt, M. D., Beacon street, Brookline, Mass, No fee until Indorsed by eminent physicians. Mrs, Jinglepop (after the usual morning dispute in bed) —**I won't stir out of this, you wretch. My tem- per is fully up, I can tell you.” | Mr. Jinglepop (drow- sily) —* Mos’ convenient. Tell it to build the fire and do the blamed chores." — 7elegram. Lee BICYCLE Belt A.W.GUMPA CO. Cayton.0. ee Misia a “Troe oy ne ati ate a eer ea RR Seba Gelte Solach Safed, ballato Bigs and pedals, and other Mounted Heads, Animais, Birds,.Fur List. J. D. Allen, Taxidermist. Mandan, N. D, THE SCHOOL-MARM IN SUMMER. Now the learned school-marm goeth Where the prattling streamlet floweth With Robert Krowning’s poems and of novels quite a store ; Her mind is analytic, She is everywhere ac She delves in all philosophies and hungers then for more, And she hath a little hammer With which, ere noonday's glamour, ‘This geologic maiden rambles forth to chip the rocks. She's conventional? No, never! She's original? Forever. Her shoes are stout and heavy-soled and rather short her frocks. Though this maiden 's been through college, What she yearns for still is knowledge. ‘The men—well, these she studies in a patronizing way. She don't quite understand them, And why girls want to land them Is most incomprehensible, I've often heard her say. And yet ere autfmn mellow, Should no rusticating fellow Show a preference for this maiden of the hammer and the books, Ten to one she'll grow splenetic. Mark my words! they’are prophetic— See no beauty in the landscape, hear no music in the brooks. Oh, this maiden gone on knowledge ! Oh, this maiden passed through college! ‘This maiden with the hammer, with the short frocks and the books, Should you woo her like another Would not treat you as a brother ; Would not Lady Vere-de-Vere you with those cold, disdainful looks. —Leo. C. Evans in the New York Herald, She (ina car, to her husband) —"'I've got a bundle for you to take’ on the train to-morrow.” “//e—"'If I don't forget it.” Ske—"* You won't be likely to do that. I've tied a string around it, and you always tell me that’s the best reminder.” —Philadelphia Record, “Ts it farrummin’ Dennis O'Maley is goin’ ter thry?” said a laboring man, “‘ It is that same.” “* Why,” re- joined the other scornfully, **he don't know enough about farrummin’ to plant ‘is feet in the road and raise dust."—Cape Ann Advertiser. HOW TO WIN AT CARDS, DICE, ETO. A sure thing, sent free Judge’s Library, 22eb%icis ; advertising medium for the money in the wide, wide world. Rates on epplication, Hungry Higgins —"" Oh, 1 had. sich a dream las’ night!” I thought I was fuiler'n a biled owl.” Weary Watkins —"*Ah, it’s you that always was the lucky duck."—Jndianapolis Journal, In the game of life the men strive to make points and the girls are all after the counts. —Llmira Gazette, ae It is not true that after Diogenes had been out with his lantern all the afternoon looking for an honest man he came home in the shades of early evening and found that somebody had stolen his tub.—Somerville Journal. ‘The thermometer is a thing of which everybody has | a low estimate when it takes a high stand.—Boston Transcript. ‘The summer river excursion is a conclusive proof that men can have a good time on water if they want to.— Philadelphia Times, THE PULSE OF 1892! Sidpes Is already feeling the eflects of the ap- ing presidential campaign. ADVERTISERS, Send for estimates both for JUDCE and that journalistic phenomenon, JUDCE LIBRARY MAGAZINE. JUDGE PUBLISHING CO., 110 Fifth Ave., New York. NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS: If you want to advertise WHERE IT WILL DO THE MOST GOOD The Best Medium of its Class in the Country. Send for Estimates, Rates and Information. WILLIAM L, MILLER, Maxacur Apvaxrisinc Darasruext, tio Fifth avenue, New York. Editor Cook of the Canajoharie Cosrier |. writes: "Dr. Deane’s. BEANE. Sige YSPEPSIA Tey, ie PILL Sag CATSKILL, N. Yo Enjoy a Cap of Good Tea, techie! ts atmos ofthe FINEST THA teported make your own selection. Wer wil send ‘by mail or ex press, charges id, 3h Fine Teas on receipt of $o, either Amoy of Formos: Coles, JapanJGunpowder, Imperial, Eng. b'fst. Sun-Sun Chop. Mi or an assortment, POSTAGE STAMPS TAKEN, . For full particulars address THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMPANY, P. 0, Box 289, 31 and 33 VESEY ST..NEW YORK. comicbooks.com