Judge — August 29, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE REASON. HERE'S one thing, as it is so true Tt might as well be said: To most of us poor Monday ’s blue From painting Sunday red. ECONOMY IS WEALTH. S6\VELL, and where are your crutches,” asked a gentle- man of a beggar who had been very lame the day before, but who was now striding off as gayly as if lame- ness were not in the list of human ailments. “ Well, yer see, yer ‘onor, times is so bad and crutches is that dear, I'm compelled to leave ‘em at ‘ome some days, or they'd wear out too fast.” THE DISADVANTAGES OF THE “BUZZ-SAW HAT” CORRECTED AND (NOW SO FASITIONABLE DOWNEAST). AMENDED. Boggs, as he appeared while escorting his two cousins. [7 HAS been stated that Mr. Stet- son of the Globe theatre dis- charged Michael Angelo from his service for’ painting a scene unsatisfactorily. This is a falsehood, doubtless fabricated by Mr. Stetson’s enemies for their own base purposes. Mr. Stetson never dis- : charged Michael Angelo, ‘The man he discharged was Webster—one Noah Webster, The facts of Ea the case are these: Mr. Stetson was ordering the printing of some programmes when the foreman ON THE FRONT PLATFORM. presumed to differ with him on the orthography of some unimportant word. ‘Titm_ conDucTOR. freenape got “ What!" exclaimed Mr. Stetson, “ you say my spelling is not correct ?” crossed on th’ signal-strap, Vve rung up a “No, sire, not correct—according to Webster,” replied the man with audacious effrontery. fare every time I've stopped th’ car. Why didn’t “ Webster!" cried Mr. Stetson, with a forcible expletive. “Webster, I say! Who is Webster? AiGieye Teves Call him up and discharge him on the spot !” Ko. fi A WOMAN'S FOIBLE. Merritt — She doesn’t seem to get much” good out of her money.” Cora —"No; she spends it getting things which she says are too , good to wear.” THE WHIRLIGIG OF TIME. Snooper —""Is that a picture of old Father Time 3” Larkin — Yes, Don't you see his scythe and hour-glass?” * Strooper —"1 do; but where is his whirligig ?” —'' Ves, that's right. Go over in th’ corner an’ you orter be more ‘n giad t' see an outcast enjoy hisself THE CRUCIAL TEST. +¢]'D DIE for you, my loved one !” exclaimed the passionate lover. “That's all right,” replied the matter-of-fact girl; “but will you eat the biscuit I mal MORE TO THE POINT. Poet (impressively) I always know when I write something that is very good.” Critic (thoughtfully) But do you know when you write something that is very bad?” A MAN OF MANY ALIASES.” A CORRECTION. i 2 Loc-casin PREACHER —" Now, children, who went inter th’ wilder- Powell —" He wields a facile pen, does he?” ness?” - Te epee Cnorvs gar an’ Ishmael “s his nom de plume?” Cracker (who has drifted in) —** Whatjer wanter tell 'm that fer? I 4 ‘- went all through it with Job Stuart's cav'Iry, an’ they warn’t ich Howell —Any name that’s good for the cheques he writes.” ginerals thar!" ¥ zs eee ers, comicbooks.com