Judge, 1891-08-29 · page 14 of 16
Judge — August 29, 1891 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements with minor satirical content**, typical of Judge's format in the 1890s. The main satirical jokes are short pieces: - **"Cigarette fiend" death commentary**: Dark humor mocking a Detroit newspaper's sentimental obituary—if smoking kills you and sends you to heaven with other smokers, why be moral? - **"Indian" children's game**: A child refuses to honor treaties, mirroring real U.S. government behavior toward Native Americans. The joke mocks American duplicity in Indian affairs. - **"Rain-balloons" and 1892 lightning**: Unclear reference, likely topical to an 1892 political event (possibly presidential election). - **"All men think alike" debate**: Satirizes male stubbornness—men claiming all sensible men agree with them specifically. The rest is commercial advertising for infant food, cologne, wine, pens, and insurance—reflective of Judge's revenue model. The "healthy infant portraits" advertisement ironically appears amid cigarette-death commentary, creating unintended dark juxtaposition rather than intentional satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“We are advertised by our loving friends.” The Portraits of Healthy Infants Sent by Thankful Parents Offer Irrefutable Evidence Of the Excellence of MELLIN’S FOOD FOR INFANTS AND INVALIDS. THE DOLIBER-GOODALE CO., Boston, Mass Invites correspondence. King Henry VI. BABY MARSH, Lynn, Mass. EAU DE 441) COLOGNE AND TRANSPARENT GLYCERINE SOAPS. THE FINEST TOILET GOODS IMPORTED A Detroit paper touchingly refers to the death of a local cigarette fiend thus But the pizen got to working. hi griet is very Keen. If it is true that cigarette-smokers become angels after committing cigaretticide what incentive i_ there for a man to walk in the straight and narrow path here, in order to be sandwiched in with such fellows afterward? | —Chicago Mail, 1 didn’t want to gamble ; 1 know it wasn't right Now that my hard-earned money Has vanished out of sight. Lut there's one consolation, So it's no use to fret ; I showed, although a loser, ‘That T had nerve to be fale Express. little George Thikhed, * wha And old ‘Thikhed thoughtfully replied, * y, haven't you seen the man with a lantern who, comes to look at the gas-meter now and then? Well, meteorologist. oston Bulletin, *Why, HOW TO WIN AT CARDS, pay postage. MOR SUYDAM, 22 Unionag., NewYork, SN | Zateqied uy ie a mee tae ree on appiication HARDERFOLD FABRIC CO., Troy, N.Y. Bention thia Paper. You can here get more life insurance, of a better qual- MUTUAL 2020 ccrtiancte: LIFE wt: Assess g2t-3-5 Chestnut St,, Philad’a, “Now,” said little Johnny, “How do you play Indian?” '** Well, you be Indian and I'll be pale-face. Now, I'll make a treaty with you that I'll give you your apple. See? There, now I'll make a new treaty with you that I'll eat your apple. See * But Twon't do it. I'm going to have my own apple.” “Oh, no; that ain't the way to play Indian, If you don't’ do the way I say you'll be a hostile, you know, and I'll blow you full o' holes." — Detroit Free Press. ‘let's play Indian.” ‘These rain-balloons which Jerry sends May yet bring forth to view A presidential lightning streak For eighteen ninety-two. Hicks — alike, done.” Wick alike they’ Hicks "Oh, well, of course all men can’t think y did they'd say this thing couldn't be 's—** Nonsense! If all men could think d agree with me and say it could be done.” All sensible men can think alik Wicks — hink as Ido.” Hicés—"' No, sir! think as I do."— Boston Transcript. NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS: If you want to advertise WHERE IT WILL DO THE MOST GOOD Fall Styles of Gentlemen’s Silk and Felt Hats will be issued on SATURDAY, August 29. NEW YORK, CHICAGO, PHILADELPHIA. Some of our race are leaders of men ; others are fol- lowers of women.—Peck's Sun. GREAT WESTERN FINEST CHAMPAGNE “de IN AMERICA. A HOME PRODUCT WHICH AMERI- CANS ARE ESPECIALLY PROUD OF. One that reflects the highest credit on the ‘country which Produces it. Now USED IN MANY OF THE BEST HOTELS, CLUBS, AND HOMES IN PREFERENCE TO FOREIGN VINTAGES, FOR PARTICULARS, PRICES, ETC., Address PLEASANT VALLEY WINE CO., RHEIMS, Steuben Co., New York. MILLER BROS STEEL PENS Are AMERICAN "sy the BEST. MILLER BROS. Cenvenr Co, MIER.S.0f, STEEL Pe cl CONN tak Ceasers PP The Best Medium of its Class in the Country. Send for Estimates, Rates and Information. WILLIAM L, MILLER, Maxacer Avvenvisinc Derartstext, 110 Fifth avenue, New York. PORTLAND, OREGON, offers a safe field for Big Money by investing in real estate ona guaranty of large interest and one-half of net profits over the guaranteed rate. We offer best of references, and invest on our judgment based on actual knowledge of over twenty years’ residence. Send for our blank forms and full informa- tion, Money loaned to net 8 per cent. References Commercial National, Merchants’ National, and Portland Sav- ings Banks. BORTHWICK, BATTY & CO, Portland, Oregon. L- POINTED PENS (Bewrrr's Parexr.) Suitable for writing in every position. Never soratoh nor spurt. Hold more ink and last longer. PRICE $1.20 AND $1.50 PER CROSS. Buy an assorted box for 26 cents, and choose a pen to suit your hand, TO BE HAD OF ALL STATIONERS IN THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA, comicbooks.com