Judge — August 15, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Anxets Brexnann Gita. I. M, Guecony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNETRD STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year, or s2 numbers = $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy: forty weeks = == 1.35 Including the Crtstseas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— Teall for ‘ign countries in the postal union, $64 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuiLpinc), Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York. (MWe guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical paper published. The Jooce is for sale at Bren 17 Avenue de POpera, Paris : by the American Ving William strect, Strand, W. Cy London: af Saarbuch's srmany, and by Ch. fe Alioth, Geneva, Switzerland. Thank you, sir; you do WE SUSPECT, speaking of Ohio, that the Campbells are going to be unavoidably delayed. HE WHo by the plow would thrive must mark his ground in blocks of five.— IV. W. Dudley. WE HAVE much liking for Quay and Dudley, but it would be wrong to let them exhaust them- selves. GMALL-POX is said to be a cure for rheumatism, but you must have it yourself. sie 6 THERE IS NO better exercise than rowing, providing the other man is at the oars. eee OLONEL ERHARDT is a thoroughly honest and good man, but it is not well for an army to be officered by its open opponents, MBS. LEASE of Kansas is said to have a voice like a bass drum. Mr. Lease, we suppose, has one like a fife and doesn’t dare to blow it. eee CHAIRMAN CLARKSON is an ideal civil former. He believes in capturing the enemy and taking his flags and. perquisites. MB: WHITNEY might succeed as the boss of Tammany hall, but he would have to wear straps on his trousers-legs to conceal his silk stockings. MB. CLEVELAND can have the delegation from Massachusetts, we think; so that, after all, he can carry his own state in the prelimi- nary exercises. service re- THe FIGHT in Buffalo between the Cleveland men and Hill men has got so warm that every combatant is stripped to the buff and wants to take off his hide THE LORNES took no part in the English festivities in honor of the kaiser. Lorne didn’t want to be snubbed, and Louise is not keeping his company lately. WHEN MISS SMITH. spinster, was shown the family bible, in which her birth ing thirty-five years ago, Drat it!” said she; “here's more census blundering.” set down as occut AKEY HALL writes love-verses occasionally. Mr. Hall would be young and bright if he were a hundred years old, and in fact he never got a gray hair that didn’t take a day from his accumulation of time and strike an attitude against his wrinkles. - FROM THE COLLECTION-ROX. have more buttons on my string Yes; but your papa is a minister.” THE WIDOW of Stonewall Jackson applies for a pension on the ground that her husband fought in the war with Mexico. There is a fine hint here for the widow of Jefferson Da whose husband not only whipped innumerable Mexicans, but captured General Taylor's daughter. Soe T IS URGED by somebody that the government pension cx-slaves to the extent of four million dollars, They certainly did a great deal of work for nothing, but they didn’t do it for the general government. That, let us insist, isa state matter, and the rights of states must and shall be preserved. PRINCE GEORGE in private letters mentions the young heir to all the Russias as “Nicky,” and refers to the empress of Russia as “Aunt * while the emperor of Germany frequently addresses the queen as “grandma.” The purple has one ample defense—there is a good deal of good, old-fashioned human nature about it, after all. ABOUT MANTLES. CORRESPONDENT of the Albany Journal says Governor Hill is a small man and neither looks nor acts the statesman. “Think,” he adds, “of the mantle of Samuel J. Tilden falling upon shoulders of such peanut proportions. Ugh!" The comparison is not happy. When Mr. ‘Tilden was at his greatest he was a tottering skeleton, and the mantle of Hill would have hidden him from the public view. It is not well to build on men’s looks and general ap- pearance. Usually the brightest men are the least conspicuous ; and the truth is that Governor Hill is a handsome, well-built, compact and well-appearing man —as long as he doesn’t get on a horse. THE WISCONSIN CIN- CINNATUS. THEY SAY that Uncle Jerry Rusk will have the Wiscon- sin delegation in the next Repub- lican national convention. Very likely, and he will deserve the honor; but we beg to advise him to proceed with the utmost de- liberation, What shall it profit a man if he have the Wisconsin delegation and lose the whole of the rest of the country? Then again, we fear for Uncle Jer- ry’s health. ——= He is not a young man, and just as soon as he becomes formidable it will be discovered that he has paresis, and likewise Mr. Bright's disease of the in- terior department. Therefore pause, Uncle Jerry. We have already observed a chalky appearance in the whiteness of your otherwise blooming counte- nance. THE NEXT UNPLEASANTNESS. HE HANDSOMEST TOWN in this state is Rochester, and the handsomest. month in the year is September. The best party is the Republi- can party, and the ninth of September is the best day. Here is a fine combination of things and situations, and the result of it ought to ;gest encouragement to the Republican national cause in 1892. There is going to be a warm con- test, and no walk-over. The outside appearance of harmony in both parties is no criterion as to the troubles within; but they are about as they have been, and the struggle will be a fair one as an indi- cation of the comparative strength of the opposing forces. It isa little early to put on the shield and buckler, but perhaps they had better be brought out and scoured up. an you have.” 'S OF PRIC! comicbooks.com