Judge — August 8, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BODING yM A mermaid, you'd agree, If youhad a glimpse of me. Hair T have like skeins of gold, And a form of spe- cial mould ; Eyes that gleam like fairest gem er set in diadem. Tam more than lovely—yes. What my age is—you must guess. can swim in any style, Never finding ita teil; Tn my course I cannot fail, For my rudder is my tail ; Tuse it for a paddle too When my arms have else to do. ‘A mermaid it is nice to be And live foreverin the sea. I'ma page to Neptune great, ‘That monarch of a vast estate. Within his coral palace 1 Wait on his royal majesty. MERMAID. And then you know how people stare. But yet some other reasons keep Me pretty well down in the deep. Among them is the fear that men Will try to capture me again, As once two men, amid a squall (Men naughty but not nautical), Essayed to get me on a hook ; But them I simply brought to book By leading them so far from shore They never once were heard of more. An! if T should be caught I know For gold I should be placed on show; ‘And how inglorious it would be For a fair mermaid of the sea To pass her life amid the bum Of a New York dime museum. RON MRAD. A SAD CASE. ¢¢YVHAT is your son doing now, Mrs. Malaprop ?” “He is a newspaper co-respond- ent.” His diet chiefly is of fish Served just according to his wish. T seldom care myself to show Above the current’s ebb and flow; ‘The sunlight has a piercing glare— “Dear me, how sad! That's as bad as being the editor himself.” “THE SALT OF EARTH.” OME women make of tears their chief ‘Of ways to keep love from decline, And scem to think that love, like beef, Is best preserved by brine. c. m. CORRECT. Teacher —“You may answer, Tommy Jones. Why do birds fly?” —'' You're quite an athlete, ain't you?” Tommy Jones —"* ‘Cause they ain't getting his first sight at the sloth) —" Oi've waited an such fools as ter walk when they don’t hour fer that bear t' turn over t' git a sight av him, an‘ now, begorry ! . Oi've met him wid his own tictacs. hey ter. SHE COULD. Yate—"‘I've been rescued from a watery grave by nine separate and distinct nice young men this summer.” Helen —"Well, you can't marry them all.” Kate—*1 can't? Chicago is my native city. A COIGNE OF VANTAGE. SOL. ISAACS Fine CLOTHING DID NOT GET HIS MONEY'S WORTH. CountRYMAN, (holding up. b0x)—"' Hi, there, boy! you have cheated me. CountrYMAN—"' There was but nine worms in these figs, and the cover says there should be ten.” SOL. ISAACS fawe CLOTHING CLOTHING KEEP COOL! HAR OWN PATENT. TILATED Comin } / comicbooks.com!