Judge — August 8, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Arent, Barwnarp Gittam. 1. M. Gecony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy: for tyweeks =e tas Including the Cunistwas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Te all for- ign countries in the postal union, ‘$a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE Buitpinc), Cor, Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York. ER We euaranter advertisers a larger circu American satirical paper published. The Jovce Al m at cheaper rates than any othe, és for sate at Brentano's, 17 Avene King William street, S WE THINK the Hon. John H. Starin will be the next governor of New York. MBS: POTTER and Mr. Bellew have not been married. It is now merely supposed that they ought to be. <3 5 1 THERE, Mr. Cleveland! around the ci Have you heard that David is carrying of Buffalo in his vest pocket? eee HERE ARE SIGNS that Arthur Pue Gordon will take’ the place of B. F. Butler in the next na- tional canvass. os OE DAY the editor of a mug- wump paper was pleased; but, really, we can’t count on a funeral every twenty-four hours. THE. KAISER having fished for whales a whole day with- out catching one, there is serious talk in Germany of abolishing the sea, g's T WAS THOUGHT by In- spector Byrnes at one time that Ben Ali would be a good- enough Morgan till after the elec trocution. 4 4 ¢ MR. WATTERSON is not a large man; so it seems cu- rious that he should think he car- ries the whole Democratic party on his shoulders. cee E LEARN of the survival of Boulanger through the death of his mistress and the sale of his war-horse. It is little things like these that sometimes resurrect a too evanescent fame. Restrut WaLLabour eee MB: FLOWER loves the Democratic party, poor man; and for that eason can be more safely antagonized by aur governor than Smith M. Weed, whose affection is more devoted to himself. eee MBS:LANGTRY, having received a fortune for getting her face spoiled with the heel of a man’s boot, will have to act, hereafter, if at all, on her merits, and they do say she hasn't one to her name. THE PROHIBITIONISTS have issued a call for a state convention and prayer-meeting at Albany. As the praying precedes the conven- of prayer will be shown if the latter is not held. L in which Boss Tweed escaped to Spain has been It outlived the old man many years; but we think it is safe to say that the memory of Tweed will beat it by several centuri ‘O MR. PARNELL—Charles, has nobody told you that you have been whipped not only several times but for an interminable period ? Get you to the bosom of your family and save the remnant of your reputation. THROUGH TRIBULATION. Faticuen PexpLenam —"' Never do no work, Joe.” y L ain't liable to. PexpLenaM— Tried t’ earn a quarter with his jags th’ farmer drivin’ th’ hay-rake, an’ when she went over a stone yours truly fell off an’ got raked too.”” ECENTLY Mr. Mitchell, teacher, fought Mr. Slavin, pupil, to his knees, and then apologized, saying it was an inadvertence. It the first time, we believe, that Mr. Slavin had ever occupied the position of a humble petitioner. aes T IS ALLEGED that the Rev. Mr. Stokes of Ocean Grove does not bathe because he has a pair of remarkably thin legs. There has ap- parently gone abroad the idea, from an ancient remark about Mr. Tal- mage, that preachers exhort with their legs; but we are sure that if Mr. Stokes did that he would present some graceful, well-rounded, athletic and truly dexterous and able exhortations. SEX IN VICE. T IS A THEORY that the divorced woman Comstock had one lover's life insured for a large sum, and got another lover to kill him, and that if she gets the money on her policies the murderer may be hanged for all she cares. It is almost impossible to believe in such depravity ; but the person, man or woman, who makes merchandise of the tenderness of human nature knows of no dividing-line this side of total wickedness. Still, it remains to be seen that any man is capable of such deliberate and heartless villainy. The man, as in this case, is merely a fool. ABSENCE OF GARMENT. 'HE GUARDIANS of Asbury Park and Ocean Grove are taking the wrong steps to secure proper costumes for the lady bathers of their vicinage. A woman is sensitive to criticism of her dress, and we may say her undress, and it is in her nat- ure to challenge advice and act its opposite. Let the Rev. Mr. Stokes and his compatriots go on with their stern decrees and the time will come when woman will bathe in public as she ejacu- latory pleases, and there will fol- low such spectacles as will crowd the beach and work destruction to the camp-meeting. Oh, may this not occur, Mr. Stokes! Oblige us not, dear sir, to select our beach in the middle and the loneliness of the desert of Sahara. MR. BLAINE’S VACA- TION. E DON'T BELIEVE any- body wants Mr. Blaine to Nobody would dare, if any- body were mean enough to do it, to place the slightest obstruction in his path to health. He is a great, big, splendid fellow, and is nearer to the heart of his country than any other man. The trouble perhaps is that public anxiety leads the newspapers to go too far in their stories about him—always, undoubtedly, with the design of presenting the truth or as much of it as can be conveniently handled; but it must be admitted that whatever the newspapers say to-day is invariably denied to-morrow, so that things are pretty evenly balanced. One good effect of the stories is, however, to make Mr. Blaine angry, and that does a sick man_good; so may the stories continue until he regains his old-time vigor, whatever may be the result of that. How'd yer do it?" THE PESTIFEROUS CONVICT. SOME STATE TROOPS sent by the governor of Tennessee to quell a disturbance by miners opposed to convict labor in the mines were promptly surrounded by the miners and as promptly surrendered. occurrences are rare, but in this instance we suspect there is little to be regretted. The average miner works very hard for very small money, and to oblige him to compete with the work of convicts is to take away his last means of a cheap but an honest livelihood and to offer something of a bid for his self-respect. We imagine that if the general government were called upon by the governor of Tennessee to interfere in the matter a very large outside question would interfere with the tariff business in 1892; but the rights of states to settle their own local troubles must and shall prevail until the national unpleasantness is settled for another four years. ‘Then what shall convicts be permitted to do to earn their own living?’ Dear, dear! Now, you know, we don’t know. comicbooks.com