Judge — August 1, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

214 UNCLE JOE’S VOTE, A STORY is told in Charleston, S.C., of quite a well known old negro called Uncle Joe. During a most exciting presidential election Uncle Joe was told of his right to vote and repeatedly urged to use it. He put on his best clothes and made his way to the polls. “Hello, Uncle Joe!" said one of the crowd. “Going to vote Republican or Democratic?” “Why, bress yer soul, honey! Uncle Joe do’ know. He's cum yere to vote fur his ole masser Edward, who ‘e ‘long to nigh onto forty year. Yer t'ink ‘e vote fur some stranger?” THE AMATEUR FARMER'S MISTAKE. dA V7 “ Gilang there, you lazy brute!" % EXrERtencen FARMER (tho happens to be passing by)— “When you want her to go jist give her tail a twist.” you? That old farmer gave me a good pointer about arousing stubborn animals that I haven't forgotten.” Sw ofl Tahoe wht rremase ‘Tie ANIMAL. —‘! There is animals and there is animals,” HER VIEW WAS REASONABLE, SOYVHAT is an old sea-dog Ww of her husband. “The term is applied to a mariner who has seen much service,” replied Gumme “1 thought perhaps a sea hound.” asked Mrs, Gummey Jog was an ocean grey- CONTEMPORARY EXEGESIS. He—" What was the Rev. Dr. Hastings’s text to- he —"*A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” He—*What did he make of it?” She—" An argument for the divine origin of bi- metallism.” THE SPREAD OF THE FAITIL Extract from the annual report of the missionary to Mbjbiwii to Ugborami. * * * * Two soles saved. * # # #," * © 18th to 27th, trip A FLATTERING DIAGNOSIS. ++ JOW did that quack ever insinuate himself into the graces of Miss Staidlady?” “Why, the man has a natural wit. He was called upon to prescribe for her, and knowing her weak points called her disease cholera infantum.” IT SOMETIMES HAPPENS. “Bunting is right in the swim.” Gargoyle ‘es; and he finds it difficult to keep his head above water.” PROVERB AND PROPHECY. INCE the agricultural bureau has undertaken charge of the weather the reports will be LIMITED UNDERSTAN “Tt strikes me as peculiar,” said voung Fitzglimmer, ‘to talk about ‘a gweat volume of smoke,’ don't you know?” “ Pwapth,” replied his friend meditatively, ‘it meanth a book of thiggawet papah.” 0 had been reading a newspaper, comicbooks.com