Judge — July 25, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Anwmtt. Braxwarn Gittam. 1. M. Gu diter TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year.or sz numbers - $5.00 One copy. six months, or 20 numoers - 2.50 One copy. for 13 weeks = + £35 Including the Curistsas Joi FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIO} alt for- cigm countries in the pottal wnton. $6 4 year, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce Buitpine), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St., New York $W-We guaranter advertiver American satirical paper published. The Jovan is for Newspaper acency at larger circulation at cheaper rates tham amy other Arenue de MOpera, Parit, by the American , dW. Cy Lom faarbach's Cable addres UDGRAKK. 3 BRET HARTE m God and his foreig s fifteen thousand dollars a year, and sings for n land. WE CAN'T TELL whether the insurgents or the regulars of Chili are the best fighters, but all of them are the ablest liars. ss 5 IT NOT strange that the Japanese government doesn't demand ir- demnity for the sudden taking off of the lamented Mr, Jugiro? s¢THE CHEAP) of these weighing machines is admirable,” says Mr. Cleveland, “but I do not quite like their infernal frequency.” WE HAVE much regard for the ability and the peculiar color of Mr, Frederick Douglass, but he has come home to get away from very bad company. AS THE BOSS of Tammany the gently-nursed Willie Whitney would feel like a sleck hen-mother with her first brood of coarse-voiced and unconventional ducks. COMPLAINT of drouth out West might be stopped if our Colonel Fellows might be hired to come there and defend a criminal with his truly irrigative oratory. THe ROSE having been formally pronounced the state flower, the first duty of the next legislature will be to pass a law providing that it shall hereafter be relieved of worms. MAN in Pennsylvania who was struck by lightning didn’t know it until somebody told him, He was probably waiting for the report of the committee of investigation, R. QUAY is going, but he very naturally postpones the period of his departure. At last accounts he had sent up to the house for some forgotten bait and a winter overcoat. MIN PASHA threatens to annihilate Henry Stanley in a book. When the book is finished Emin must take care not to fall between its leaves, because somebody might shut it and squeeze him to death, HE NEWSPAPERS ought not to be obliged to steal information which belongs to them and the public; but the fact that they have a right to do it enables them to do it with a clear conscience and some exactness, HE YOUNG MAN glories in his youth, and that is well; but Maurice Minton's Mlustrated American swings its arms so lustily because of its infancy that it is in danger of impinging on its perpendicular and offer- ing temptation to its nurse's palms STRAY SHOT nearly killed the German emperor while he was admiring the Eton boys. “It was a blank cartrid somebod Very likely,” said his majesty significantly ; pose it whistled merely to keep my courage up.” * explained and so 1 sup- AS SEEN BY UNACCUSTOMED EYES. Par (politely accosting lady with fashionable trailing skirt) —* Mum, 1 beg pardon, but hadn't yez betther give yure suspenders a hitch 7” THERE ARE NO chicken-thieves. There are men who take chickens from the impulse of the moment and totally without premeditation. These men should be convicted merely of borrowing, as Frenchy was convicted of murder in the second degree. ARY E. LEASE, the alliance woman of Kansas with her mouth full of words and clothes-pins, says three attempts have been made to poison her. Dreadful, dreadful; and the more so as one reflects on the remarkable stupidity of the meh who made up the prescriptions. GEORGE'S DIVINITY. HEN PRINCE GEORGE found that the Servia would have to return to New York because of the breaking of her crank-pin he said “How unfortunate!” whereupon all the ladies within hearing remarked ecstatically, “ How charming—how heroic—how sweet!" If it is not true that blood will tell it is easy for the average democracy to sup- ply the requisite information. READ THE PAPERS AND SEE. KATE FIELD says much of our best literature appears in the daily press. The editor of any monthly magazine would say that is not 0; but he has so much unprinted bad literature to pass upon that he has no time for the good that is printed day by day, and besides he assumes an indifference to the daily press that will not permit him to encourage it. Most of our best writers graduated from the daily newspaper, and some of them remain with it. Probably several coming men and women are writing for the daily newspaper at this moment. ANOTHER CIVIL WAR. THE QUESTION has arisen whether John G. Nicolay was a routine clerk or a confidential adviser of President Lincoln, and Colonel McClure of the Philadelphia Times is so emphatic in his judg- ment that Nicolay was an ordinary hireling that we don’t see how, if he wasn’t, the latter can avoid pull- ing the colonel’s nose. We need more history, and a bloody argu- ment over the grave of Hamlin would be most refreshing as a re- vival of one of those periods which try men’s souls and reflect to a © extent on men’s accuracy. ‘The issues of that civil war have been buried too long. Let us re- surrect a few of them at once. THE KILLERS AND THE KILLED. CIENCE devoted much attention to the body of the recently deceased murderer, Mr. Smiler. The woman whom Mr, Smiler killed was sub- jected to merely a rapid and cheap autopsy, the agony of her death being a matter of slight interest. There is no reason for complaint, and at the same time we are reminded how tender the law is with the man who kills, and how indifferent it is to the person who is killed and the agony of that person's relatives and friends. “The sympathizing public hopes Mr. Smiler and his three companions had an easy death, but the sympathizing public hasn't a dollar wherewith to relieve the suffering and want their villainy created. TREASON WITHOUT FUNDS. THERE IS COMPLAINT in the southern newspapers that subscrip- tions to the Jeff. Davis monument are coming in very slowly. The Enguirer-Sun of Columbus, Georgia, says its town has raised only one hundred and fifty dollars, and that it ought to contribute five hundred dollars at least. It is sad to have this evidence of the ingratitude of re- publics—or states. If the people will not do honor to their great leaders they do not deserve to have leaders of that kind. The south has a right to think well of the late Mr. Davis, and it is shameful that it should refuse to give money to his memory whenever it is called upon to do so. Still, there is a tip of silver to this deep, dark cloud. Possibly it may not be necessary, after all, for Brigadier-general Shepard to clasp a sword to his loins and lead a hundred thousand northern soldiers the ghost of the late confederate president and that of his blasted old confederacy. comicbooks!com