Judge — July 11, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He, asa king, hath enemies, ‘Anioft with speed will craw!— _ With old Holéfast in hot pursuit— Over the garden wall Although he’s not a native born, He soon adopts our ways. For equal rights he is forsworn He's great on “*'lection days.” He also has our native taste, ‘And always calls for pie; He never touches Adam's ale When he can get old rye Perhaps he’s wed ; but of his wife There’s nothing to remind him ; For as he Journeys on in life He leaves his girl behind him, He leaves the toilers in the town, No care have I,” he'll sing ; He's welcomed—as the budding trees— As harbinger of spring. CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER : —"* Wot does yer soy when de conductor ket on de train?” Bic WiLtiam —"'T allers sez, sez I, *I travel on me axes face,’ Dat'll skeer any conducto Timp Jor—"'T tried say’ hung me over de platform, head down, an’ I traveled on me face fer two mil JUDGE KING ITINERANT. © KING who from his chalice drinks Was ever freer than, The tramp who érinks with thirsty gulp From his tomato-can. His head is small, his neck is thick ; His cheeks are puffed and red ; His hair, unkempt, the breezes toss ; He walks with measured tread. His stubby beand is coarse and rough And slightly mixed with gray; A hickory stafl—his sceptre tough— Marks out his dusty way. No crown he wears; a rimless hat ‘Adoms his frowsy head. His pipe is diadem—a friend ‘When other friends have fled. ‘4 Of coat-tails he has none. ‘His shirt—alas! the song of that Is not a joyous one. "Mis musty trousers, thread-bare wora, ‘Are patched in seat and knee: The hungry look of each great toe Is pitiful to see! He wanders o'er the Gelds of green ; Tn leafy woods he wanders ; By cornfield ripe, or melon-patch, Or orchard fair, he ponders. He listens to the warbling birds ‘Where babbling brooklets ran : And in the misty twilight sees ‘The stars rise one by one. ‘Then in some hay-lo{t makes his bed, ‘Where, through the broken roof, His eye discerns the firmament With silvery web and woof. His pipe drops from his nervetess hand, He wakes, to creep away ; ‘And morning shows the ash-strewn spot ‘Where were the barn and hay! No king who from his chalice drinks ‘Was ever freer than The tramp who drinks with thirsty gulp From his tomato-can. CLARKE WINSLOW CRAXWELL. A TERSE INTERRUPTION. Mr. Penwink (stiliedly)—"* Do you think it will be conducive to your happiness to join me in the holy bonds of wedlock ?" Para (overhearing)—"* Ask him how he’s fixed with holy government bonds, Jane.” AN INSTRUCTIVE GAME. ¢¢] SEE now,” said he sadly after he had lost money on the ball game, “why they say ‘blind as a bat.’ The bat didn’t seem to see the ball once. HARD LINES. Miss Alabaster Wooltop —" W'at’s you gwine to wear to de Coon- ville ball?" ¢ * Miss Lily Snowflake— 1 dunno yet, an’ dat's w'at makes me so anxious.” . Miss Alabaster Wooltop — Why, ain't you done got yo’ shrimp pink?” Miss Lily Snowflake (contemptuously)— Dat I has; but my mis- tress she done got one de same color.” WOULD HAVE THE DESIRED EFFECT. First Chicago woman —" Mrs. Lakefront was here to-day and she inveighed terribly against the divorce evil in this city.” Second Chicago woman —" Shall we cut her in society?” First Chicago woman —"No; 1 shall whisper it about quietly that she is guilty of heresy.” seo.” SAYS Mrs. Sharp to her husband. LOST CONFIDENCE. ou cannot fool me; it was one ‘o'clock this morning when you came home.” “Now, Mary, it was surely not later than twelve o'clock.” “T say ‘one o'clock.” “Well, all right, “Mary; if you believe your old. nickel -plat- CASES: ed. ninety-five cent watch more than you do me See?’ I have nothing De bloke took an’ further to say.” GIVE HIM HIS DUE, **CORDON CUMMING is certainly to be credited with one good qual “ What is that 2” “He has not-yet announced his intention of elevating the stage.” MONEY AHEAD, Farmer's wife—"W' broken-down old cows? y in the world did jou buy such a lot of Farmer —“ Them city folks nex’ dooris gettin“ ap an archery club.” HE SAID her hair was dyed. ‘*'Tis false!" she cried. “Yes,” he repli perhaps false as well as dyed.” ; for I was awake when you came and I looked at my watch and it was just ul NOUN MISCONSTRUED. SHE —“‘Sir, your company is becoming distasteful to me.” He (recruit of company G.) —'* Ish dot so, schweedness? Den I vill resign me fon dot goombany righd av: i comicbooks.com