Judge — July 11, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LONGING. Jt AGoEN, back to ae country I'm sek cela derned It's a regyeler flyin’ Dutchman, a-whirlin’ aroun’ an’ ‘aroun’. T'4 as lief be locked in a prison an’ workin’ away in a cell; I don’t say farms is heaven, but a city is mos'ly hell. Cheatin’ an’ lyin’ an‘ braggin’, an’ buyin’ an’ sellin’ vott An’ every perfession a-cuttin’ each others’ throat Upside down an’ inside out, an’ nuthin’ with ekal poi Jis! buildin’s a-buttin’ agin the sky an’ whirlwinds o° dust, noise. Se Death in the food an’ water, an’ nary a soul to care ; Death on the streets an’ crossin’s, an’ death in the cussid air ; Why, blamed if the men an’ women draw hardly a quiet reath, Fer broodin’ over the city is the black-faced angel o' death. T want to git out in the country an’ set on the ole side porch Long of a Sunday mornin’, when folks is goin’ to church, An’ hear the waggins a-creakin’ along the dusty roads, J Filledto the backs with children—the ginooine Sunday loads; Asettin’ there in the sunshine an’ smokin’ away like a ‘url ~; An‘ up in the furdest corner a-watchin’ the wasps at work, Bd An’ squintin’ ‘cross to the orchard where apples Is goin’ to waste, A sizin’ up the biggest an’ wonderin’ bow they'd taste ; a' about the winter an’ the girls an’ the cider-press ick'ry nuts an’ apples, an’ the Fest of it—well, 1 guess! You kin talk of your life inva palace, in the city or out to sea, But i you would like to get livin’, come out on the farm with me. An’ I'll make you waller in clover till you've clean forgot the choke (Of the dust of your tarnal city an’ its Rangin’ clouds o smoke ; An’ I'll take you out to the pasture an’ show you a chunk of sky ‘That you needn't be feared of lookin’ at fer a cinder in your eye. An’ T'll let you go barefooted an’ dress like a common tramp, An’ eat your grub in your hngers, fs like i would be in camp, A BLOW OF THE CLUB. Aa you kin jis cavort afoun’ likes wikdeyed Tense steer days GORDON (20 the Knickerbocker) —" Steward ; Vd like to pot a friend up for three ays. Gur oid ant honey un nuteeg. witha whlaper of applegsck ee Tue stewaxd—" I'd be glad to oblige you, sir; but you'll have to arrange it so that ~ Sinationomater "hey ail Ves dipoes in dew ; Tecan take you down first ‘An’ speakin’ of “applesjack,” you know, there's an extra jug for you. So come with me to the homestead an’ rest your heart an eyes, MORE OUT THAN IN. it your fill 0° chicken an’ doughnuts an’ apple-pies, js 5 é . - a dyin’ to see a river as clear as a pane o' glass— oe WHa T was the matter with Miss Gauzy’s bathing-dress this afternoor ?’ like old Nebbykudnezzar, so turn me out to grass. . ERNEST MCGAPFEY “Oh! she wasn’t in it.” SURRENDER OF BOSTON. £ Mr. Yokrker (to his affianced, Miss Iphigenia Baustohn)—“ And now, Iffie, as we are engaged I want a kis : She—" Mr. Yohrker, the osculatory phenomena often accompanying the ante-connubial state are indeed reprehensible and. viewed with commendable animadversion by "— He—"Break away, Iffie; I'm coming!" (Reaches for her.) She (sliding to extreme end of sofa) —" Mr. Yohrker, such impetuous amatory manifestations neces- sitate a contravallation, lest cumulative concessions conserve to contiguity and concomitant conjunctive contractile consequences which "— He—"I pass; look out!" (Slides after her.) She (with a slight but cultivated squeal) —“ Mr. Yohrker, would you constuprate? Would—would —really, Mr.—I—oh !-G—G—George, why, I positively !—I—I—I am now "— He (emphatically, folding her in his arms)—"So am I!" (A moment's silence.) He (inquiringly) — As you svere saying, Iffie, you are now ?”— She (softly, and in a muffled voice) —* Out of sight.” ! Sudden volley of explosions followed by a very silent silence. Boston had surrendered. A WHALING PEDITION, Thy! Pramasl J rete Tunes x fa Rerainey THE WRONG PIANo-TUNEK (fo Ais new apprentices) —"* Ven 1 counds dree each von off you dakes holt off von leg und pull so hardt like you can. Now den—Von, comicbooks.com