Judge — July 4, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE OBLIGING PROSPECTOR. Bic Wotr—‘* Injun heap hungry. Wough !' WANTED TOO MUCH. S6\HY, this beastly machine says I only weigh one hundred and twenty-five pounds.” “Well, what do you expect for a cent? Thirty stone?” SQUIBS. WHEN it's all over the patriotic small boy covered with stars and stripes. On the Fourth Polly doesn’t ask for a cracker more than once. The cat's nine lives come in handy. As an infernal machine the toy pistol has never been improved upon. It’s better for the small boy to be taken to the police-station than to the hospital. ‘The wise goat steers clear of tomato-cans and bunches of paper. relin’ with him.” For a week afterward the small boy is what might be artistically called a study in plaster. Smokeless powder will never be popular with the small boy. The widow wants her third, but the kid A SUPERFLUITY. She—" Don’t you think that our modern societ He—“ Yes; 1 met a fellow the other night who had several of them there.” CLUB RIVALRIES. ProsPEcror —"* Whoop ! too frivolous? I amused by some young man who goes about with his heart Bic WoLr —"‘ Chief Ike him better het.” A VETERAN. Cubbage—" I have smelled powder, sir.” Rubbage—“ On the battle-field ?” Cubbage--"No, sit; on the fourth of July.” *TWAS EVER SO. Mrs. Brown — Has the goat chewed up all the old cans?” Little Johnny fire-crackers in it * All but the one with the A BOOMERANG. Cebwigger —“ Did Johnnie fire that can- non of his?” Brown —" No; the cannon fired Johnnie.” Fee eee tats HE WAS WILLING: . Miss Scadds (to the minister) — Mr. Hunker and I are going on a ramble. Will you join us?” Rev. Dr. Thirdly (who caught only the last sentence) * With pleas- Do you wish the ceremony performed in the church ONCE WAS ENOUGH. —" Does Johnnie hold his crackers in his hand when he fires ure, tisfied with his Fourth. JAMES JAY O'CONNELL, Merrit them off? Brown ~~ Oaly the first one.” ON HER FACE. Miss Spry—"Jane hates the smell of powder.” Miss Envious—" And yet she has it near her all the time.” Pembroke— Some of the members of the Beaumonde club charge Hayes with conduct unbecoming a gentleman and want to expel him.” Balling —“ The charge can be easily substantiated.” Pembroke —* Vow ?" Balling —" By merely proving his membership in the club.” HOW MUCH WAS HE WORTH. Ethel (to & persistent admirer) —" Mr. Junglove, would you mind telling me whether you are worth more or less than Mr. Silverton ? Mr. Junglove (who dares to be honest) —“I presume I am worth less, but "“— Mr. Savage (a rival) —" Just what ORIGINAL. Editor—“Do you offer this as an original poem ?” Brassington — “Yes, sir.” Editor —" But 1 saw it six months ago in the Ensign.” Brassington — “Well, didn’t it say ‘original’ over it?” OBITUARY. Bathed on the 18th, Trenton Willie. neral Wednesday. P.S.—"* Western papers please copy.”* Fu- rae MM ae SERVED ON THE PIAZZA AT LONG BRANCH. DiLLway (escaped from Lacy's for a day)—' How are you, Claude? I'm just taking a little siesta after dinner. hotel “here, but the service isn't just what it ought to be.”” THs. CLERK—"'That fellow’s been loafing there all the morning. the card, Henry.” Pretty Show him comicbooks.com