Judge, 1891-06-27 · page 10 of 17
Judge — June 27, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humor and satire page from Judge magazine featuring multiple short jokes and cartoons typical of late 19th-century American publications. **Key content includes:** - **"Made Useful"**: A college-educated man with no practical skills is hired only to smoke cigarettes—satirizing the uselessness of classical education for business. - **"Amateur Farmer"**: Mocks wealthy suburbanites ignorant of rural life, asking whether to buy a lawn-mower or cow. - **"Pat's Idea of It"**: An Irish immigrant street-sweeper celebrates that fashionable women's long dragging skirts keep streets clean—ironic commentary on class and labor. - **Various brief jokes** on horses, baseball, Boston spectacles, currency, and the wealthy. - **"Policy of Protection"**: References young millionaire George Vanderbilt allegedly fleeing American women (scheming mothers seeking wealthy husbands) by traveling to England. The page exemplifies Judge's satirical treatment of class, immigration, fashion, and American social pretension typical of the 1890s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MADE USEFUL. “Your father requests me to give you a position in my establishment. You know nothing of commercial transactions; you have a thorough college education, and I see you smoke cigarettes. Well, I can use you as— . THE AMATEUR FARMER. MB. TROTTER, who has just moved into the suburbs, writes as follows to our agricultural editor : “ Dear sir— Which is the cheapest—lawn-mower or cow?” SS S “ How's your wife this morning, "Rastus?" * “She mighty poahly dis mawnin’, sab.” “What's the matter ?” “Wall, de doctor says dat she got narvous ability, an’ dat de case so serious he ain't got no moah prepositions to make.” OF SOME USE AT LAST. AT AN English country house. “Let's have a game of cards.” “We can't, I have no counters,” “You forget that the prince of Wales is in the next room” PAT’S IDEA OF IT. (Suggested by colored cartoon in Jupce, March 14th, 1891.) stl FUNNY world is this,” said Pat, As on the curbstone flat he sat, Eating his bread and meat. “ Time was the dirt I had to fight From early morn till late at night To keep the pavements neat. “* But now it is I take me ease, Holding me broom upon me knees And eye the gay colleen With skirts so fine go trailing by; T laugh until I almost die, The walks are all so clean. “ And pavement-sweepers everywhere Should thank, I think, the colleens fair For taking off the dirt. And Madam Fashion too, that same— We'll send her word (the good old dame), Long live the dragging-skirt.” CLARA J. DENTON. A HORSE’S FEARS. + YOU can recommend this horse, then 2” “Certainly; he is as kind as can be, and there is only one thing that he's afraid of.” “What is that?” “He's afraid somebody will say whoa to him and he won't hear it.” PROVED BY A PROVERB. Mrs. Snooper (indicating the smallest man in the base-ball team) —“That must be the pitcher.” Snooper —" Why so?” Mrs, Snooper —" can tell by his ears.” Snooper —" Indeed ?” Mrs. Snooper —*Yes; little pitch- “ers have great ears, you know,” HIGHLY IMPROPER. Miss Manhattan —* How do you account for the prevalent use of spec- tacles in Boston, Miss Emerson?” Miss Emerson —"We do not re- gard it proper to gaze with the naked —er, the unclothed optic.” HARD PRESSED. SILVER DOLLAR—"'T say, old man, can’t you lend me a few cents so I can get up to my full value? I'm hard presced.”” GoLD poLtar—'‘Hard_ pressed? Why, bless your soul, so am I. That's the fix of everything’ that comies out of the mint.” A POLICY OF PROTECTION. ‘oun Georze Vanderbilt, one of America's innumerable millionaires, has proved impregnable to the attacks of scheming mothers of his own country, and set sail for “Arrival of the lion of the season at Mrs. Leo Hunter's, under an efficient escort.” comicbooks.com hi th