Judge — May 16, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Departinc GuEst—"' You've taken first-rate care of me, and I'd like to return the favor. Sheepshead races.” DECLINED WITH THANKS, Come down to New York this spring and I'll give you Much obleeged, but th’ last time 1 was down one ‘r you fellers give me a tip on one ‘r them tom-cat boats, an’ I hed t’ swim a a thousan’ fect deep. HUM OF THE COURT. N O; IT IS NOT P. Couzins who is insane. She's merely talkative, and she always had that trouble, D that men would toe in as women do if they had to A woman alleges it, of course. MB. TALMAc recognize him by the eloquence of his lungs and the length of his mouth. A EADY who recently lectured on per- sonal liberty evidently thought that the term meant unlimited license to libel and destroy personal reputation. OR YEARS in a chronic state of indig has frequently hurled « man in the moon for winking at her. HE UNCERTAINTY of fame i shown in the case of * Nellie BI being necessary to explain who she was before putting the question as to what's become of her. WE SEE now where the late Albert Pike got his poetic inspiration. He was a lawyer, and one case, with respect to Indian claims, netted him a hundred thousand dollars. OLTKE stood for two hours in the cold without an overcoat, recently, while his officers were warmly clothed. It a great triumph for the old man, but directly he up and died. NOTHER THREAT of war by the Italian government and Italy will be depopulated of ordinary men, and we shall have to plant torpedoes to keep out the government itself. HE REPORTS of * the battle” on the first day of base-ball were longer and more depressing than those of the first battle of Bull Run. It doesn’t need a standing army to ma ary press. THEY TELL of \ d land who can talk but little, but who can swear with the utmost fluency ; and when he gets news of a Republi- has shaved off his side-whiskers, but the angels will A man would know can victory it may well be imagined that he makes up for lost time. THE MONKEY of Italy climbed high and made a fine exhibition of him- self. Only one thing bothers him now — an absence of the ingenuity and agility necessary to climb down safely and gracefully. Rosina VOKES is always charming; but, having a suspicion that people like to have her sing and dance, she assumes the successful SOMETHING HE COULDN'T HELP SAYING. Mrs. Newrott (examining her finished portrait) — don’t think you've ketched on to the expression very well, Mr. Clinedinst. INEDINST (thom she has insufferably bored for three months)—*1 shouldn't care to catch on to that one, Mrs. Newtoit. actor's privilege of showing the merest moiety of those attractions. A MAN saw a beautiful woman in passing through Macon, Georgia, on a railroad train. _ He raved about her until he came to the next station, and then he got off and killed himself, leaving a note with the words, “I am dying for her.” That kind of man can be profitably spared, and it might be well to set the beautiful woman for others of his kind. MB. INGALLS has written a fine poem descriptive of the sensation a man would undergo if he were to look upon several thousand upturned dead faces as the same might appear after their graves had been opened. It appears to us that this is esthetic rather than agricultural, and melancholy enough to indicate a fear of the failure of the potato crop. OE MULHATTON, author of the largest and ublest lies this country has known during the last twenty years, is said to have been stricken with paraly It must have been a particularly destructive stroke, for otherwise Joseph would have mutilated it to the point of obscuration. We shall miss Joseph; but happily the Democratic press still exists, and even claims with brazen assurance that it is constantly increasing in circulation. F A MAN knows when he’s well off he won't die as long as he can help it. Barnum has been dead only a few day and one man is claiming all the credit of the sale of his book, and another the cred- it of his advertising methods, while an- other calls him old Skinflint, and says he never gave a dollar to charity, Truly the old legend may be true—not a man dies who doesn’t remark after crossing the Styx, “I want to go back and lick somebody. comicbooks.com