Judge, 1891-03-28 · page 7 of 22
Judge — March 28, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a page from Judge magazine containing Easter-themed humor and satire. The dominant piece, "The Easter Service," satirizes male distraction during church—a man notices a young woman's physical attributes (eyes, hair, dimples, gloved hand) while completely missing the sermon's content about sin and heaven. The joke is on masculine weakness and the gap between spiritual intention and actual behavior. Other items include brief jokes mocking various social types: a pompous minister, boarding school, social pretension, and marriage. "A Virginia Casualty" humorously depicts a child's accident involving a pet rabbit. The scattered advertisements and one-liners suggest typical Judge content targeting educated, upper-middle-class readers with gentle mockery of contemporary manners, courtship, and social conventions. The satire assumes readers share values about religious propriety and gender relations typical of late 19th/early 20th-century America.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THE EASTER SERVICE. SAW a little saint on Easter day: ‘She sat quite near me all the service through : ‘She heard each word the (nese had to say ‘And left a scent of violets in the pew. What need to pray to storied saints of stone ‘That {rom the niches high look coldly down, ‘When here beside me in the pew alone ‘There kneels a modern saint in tailor gown ? T thought of golden harps and angels’ wings Bren while I watched her downeast face so And as she turned I marked ‘mong other things ‘In what a charming way she wore her hair. ‘Once, as the anthem sang, her eyes met mine, ‘The organ murmuring in a cadence sad, And while my soul answered the theme divine T noticed what a pretty hand she had. Tne preacher spoke, with words that would inspire, Of heaven anid hope—of Satan and of sin; To listen one could sit ahd never tire— here was a stunning dimple in her chin ! But when at home they asked me of the text —stammered something about Paul; jothing could I think of next, me! — was all I could recall: A scent of violets and a little glove ; ‘A pair of eyes with lashes brown'and long; Two lips that seemed not made for prayer, but love, ‘And a sweet voice that sounded like a song. A VIRGINIA CASUALTY. Mrs, Poinpexter —"* What are you crying for, Fairfax?” Fatneax Potnpexter —"*Calef had to go and laugh, and my best pet rabbit thought it was a burrow and jumped right in. Wow !" Was she an angel sent for Easter day To bring to heaven the earthly thoughts of men? Yet she looked human. Well. I dare not say; But, to make sure, I'll go io church again, POWERS OF DARKNESS. 66P)O YOU believe in evil spirit “I should say so, I have occasionally taken a drink in Brooklyn. THE MINISTER. YOUR fory days of fasting, THE REVISED EDITION. s¢OH. yes,” said Miss Bleecker, “Tam dead sure of it.” “You mean you are fatally certain, dear,” was Miss South- Church's correction. LOVE AND MARRIAGE, As everybody sees, Have made you prone to casting About for marriage fees, THE sil who weds at Easter-tide The man she thinks to rule Is very apt to find the bride Ts but an April fool. NOT THE EDUCATION SHE WANTED. HIS WHEREABOUTS. : Mr. Bingo—"1 met li Mrs. Gazzamt (to her daughter) Bee met a polite Annie, I'm thinking of sending } pe URE A ce “you to boarding-school.”” = = Mrs. Bing fas he? pacing: Mr. Bingo—“In a dime Annie—" Why, mamma, | nev- museum.” . er intend to keep boarders.” A TOUGH beefsteak is a cure HIS SIGNAL, for the consumption — of the beef- Mrs. Weers—‘* Quick! Somebody run for the neighbors ! steak. ‘Weeps, did you do that ?” JoUNNY—" Yes'm. I wanted to at- tract Freddy Bower's attention so’s he'd come over an’ see my new Guinea-pigs.” Wirci is better, do you bet, To die eating or di-et? TO AN OLD FLAME AT EASTER [/MGRIEVED to hear you are to wed, But though you've been untrue, Dear Dollie, you need have no dread T'll be as hard with you, If I should give a trifling gift Upon your wedding day You could not help but praise my thrift, I'd give you—not away, A REFRESHING INSTANCE. Janet — Oh, Geraldine, just think how we have underrated Mr. Thor- ley! Why, it seems he’s been all over Europe, India, China, Japan and Aus- tralia!” Geraldine —" Anything remarkable about that?” i Janet —“Yes, He's never talked Country MemBer G. A. R. any place to us but Brow tryin’ in a quiet way fer more'n ten years to gi these city fellers hang out their application on their front Ta er windys. I'll try that game myself when I git back to the A DENTIST'S epitaph— He is filling “Corners. his last cavity. : C) comicbooks.com