Judge — March 7, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE MONEY TALKS. A NEW BANJO SONG. Directions—Tune the thumb-string up to X, clear the voice with pickled pig’s-feet and sweet oil. then the entrancing music of the banjo will be fully exemplified.—Aditer. Pee BUSINESS or love or war- plink! ‘Or anyt'ing wath strivin’ for—plank ! De ing 'dat goes and never balks - in Is good spot cash, for money talks—plunk ! Frinkety-plank, K plocketyplunk! talks, ° It has a tenor voice in dimes— plin! Soprano in de dollah chimes plan Plankety, plockety plunk! Money talks It w'ispers in de beauty’s year—ptink! Wren lub is absent cash is near—plank! At foolish fancy prudence mocks ~ plink ! ‘And to good purpose money talks—plunk! Peelink-peelank-peelonk-peelunk ! joney talks, When poverty Is hoarse wid cold-plink! De time's gone by an awful while plink! Dare notin de voice ie lank. To.tabelon yo"shane on style—plank De aad in honakin now walks 0" bruise yo" thins among de gawks—plink ! Insecta Tmoney afksplunk! Onlew. yo: trains whar money tiks—plunk EASY LESSON Pinkeplant inweiy lume Hinketyptink lank pinketyplnk “Ah! whom have we here ? it is Jay Gould, the great railroad man.” What is this he is looking at?" “It is a beautiful engine which works and also plays a nice tune when one puts a nickel in the slot.” ** Bat what is Mr. Gould waiting there for? It will not play unless he puts a nickel in the slot, will it?” Oh, yes, it will too. If he can wait long enough some one else will put one in, and then Mr. Gould can hear it play.” A, woRpen A SURFEIT. Ske—" Have you had any experiences yclones ?" With one. She was the widow of a man from Kansas Cit ON THE MISSIVES THAT HE SENDS. O': HIS face is quite plain and his ways are the same, And there's nothing about him to kindle love's flame; But his writing is fine, so 1 am forced to confess ‘That he's always a man of most charming address. sm “NATURAL LAW IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD.” Rector (to May, a recent convert) — growing in grace?” PURE HUDSON ENGLISH. May (yawning after the last night's german) —* What, doctor! dur- TAVERSTRAW HRICK-SIUPPER —"*Are you the commander of that barge?” ing the winter season?” Mistex KNVAck (cohispering) —" No} ain't nothin’ but the commandee.”” ly dear, I hope you are daily AT ALBANY. Citizen —* What is the cause of the commotion in the executive mansion ? Attendant —" Governor Hill hasn't received another letter from Mr. Watterson. “WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS.” HE HAS kissed her good-night and has sought his room With every rose of his heart in bloom ; And now, like a miser, he broods alone O’er his treasures of look and word and tone. Ah! well for him that he does not know That while he dreams, with his soul aglow, Another innocent lover sips A good-night kiss from those lying lips. HE WILL CONSULT AN AUTHORITY. Chicago Sunday-school teacher —* Why ‘should we not cast pearls lefore swine, Johnny Livewayte?” Johnny —* Vil ask papa. He's in the pork business.” A MOMENT OF HORROR. IIE whole, whole world about him is wrapt in awful hush As he asks the dealer for one card to fill a royal flush. ONE OR THE OTHER. NO LEGACY FOR IM. . Enity (sith expectations) —“‘Aunty, I have just finished this picture of Cleverton —* Not long ago | made an agreement with a friend to you sitting on the rock at Bar Harbor. exercise an hour a day for a year at the gymnasium. I'll be hanged. Miss OtpaiRe (very rich) —“* Hi" e Saha: ‘ ” Fe band like it?” if it wasn't destroyed by fire last night 5 fr Emty—"Oh, Jack says it is very natural indeed, and reminds him of Pashaway—"*Ab-ha! Which one of you burned it? rock of ages. very pretty. Low does “your hus- comicbooks.com